Welcome to Kings Island! Please be respectful for the national anthem, then head into the park where you will see many sights such as the Eiffel Tower (not the real one, go to Paris if you want to see...
Welcome to Kings Island! Please be respectful for the national anthem, then head into the park where you will see many sights such as the Eiffel Tower (not the real one, go to Paris if you want to see that) and the roller coasters. You see that big blue behemoth? Maybe not, because it's blue, and so is the sky. It's actually quite an interesting fact that brings up, a lot of really big roller coasters are blue to blend in with the sky, not just this one. Head in the vague direction of the ride, and you may want to head under the two Racers, or else you'll completely miss it, because, I mean, it's a theme park, they never want you to know where anything is. It's almost like in Busch Gardens Williamsburg if you take the sky ride over to Germany and it's nearly impossible to find your way out, there is one way out and it is the absolute last place you'd expect it to be, but I'm getting off topic. Now, once you've used your last few braincells locating the ride, you come to find the queue line that pretty clearly leads to it. Now, if it's the beginning of the day and you get early entry, you will probably not get too long of a line, but if you don't have early entry, you will have to either face lines that are posted at an hour but are absolutely understated, or buy a Fast Lane for your family, which is certainly the better option, but, I mean, with people these days, you really never know. But either way, you're getting there at some point, and when you do, you're on the train, roaring to go, doesn't leave for five millennia, still ready as you'll ever be, then you get whipped out of the station, as the train starts to ascend the 300ft hill (ITS A GIGA, STOP SAYING IT'S NOT) and when it finally reaches the top, the ride's tagline doesn't make itself untrue as all ears within 30 miles get fractured due to the amount of screaming just your party let alone does. Dooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn we go! Aaaaaaa! As the vehicle starts the incline back up, you get flattened like a pancake, or so it feels, and then you get thrown into a barrage of intense elements, such as humongous airtime hills and flabbergasting turns, and after a while, the ride comes to a halt, as you wait another five millennia for the train to be pulled back into the station, and while you're waiting, talk to your group about it! Think out loud! Speak to them! Convey your feelings about the past three minutes! After that, the train slinks it's way back into the station, and I must confess, I forgot to talk about the theming in the queue earlier, so that is what will be talked about next. After a few minutes of waiting in the blazing heat of Almost-Cincinnati, you find yourself in a place that looks like the base of a conspiracy theorist, with pins and red strings all over the place, connecting different Kings Island rides like Flight of Fear and the now defunct Firehawk. Anyways, all I'm trying to say is that you should book a plane ticket or drive to Mason, Ohio, where you can ride the one and only Orion.
