Robert A. - Reviews

Has perhaps the single worst jolt I've ever experienced on a roller coaster, on the apex of the hill immediately after the loop. A horrific shake from side to side rattles your entire body as you sit ...

Has perhaps the single worst jolt I've ever experienced on a roller coaster, on the apex of the hill immediately after the loop. A horrific shake from side to side rattles your entire body as you sit there helplessly. The rest of the ride isn't that bad, but I vividly remember thinking to myself "I want to get off now" for the whole rest of it after that... thing. The operator agreed with me that it's a stinker; Clacton has a real gem in their hands.

Just offensively bad for a spinning mouse. One of the slowest 'major' (if you can even call it that) coasters I've done. Makes about three quarters of one rotation in the second half before harsh brak...

Just offensively bad for a spinning mouse. One of the slowest 'major' (if you can even call it that) coasters I've done. Makes about three quarters of one rotation in the second half before harsh brakes to finish off an incredibly lacklustre ride.

Trims hit hard several times throughout the layout, and even went as far as momentarily completely stopping some cars. Glad it didn't happen to me though. The initial hairpins were fine, but everythin...

Trims hit hard several times throughout the layout, and even went as far as momentarily completely stopping some cars. Glad it didn't happen to me though. The initial hairpins were fine, but everything after is just "we're going up and down, but why?" because it trims so hard that none of the hills give airtime and punches you in the gut too. It's like the ride hates you or something

I love the f**k-off massive second drop into the tunnel. That combined with the airtime hill that goes into it is a contender for the most memorable part of any coaster to me. Unfortunately though thi...

I love the f**k-off massive second drop into the tunnel. That combined with the airtime hill that goes into it is a contender for the most memorable part of any coaster to me. Unfortunately though this is the roughest roller coaster I have ever ridden and I nearly cried & threw up on it. It is VIOLENTLY ROUGH. There's one moment of this ride that saves it from being my worst ever coaster. Retrack, or change the trains, please.

Ouch, what a colossal fall-off. What used to be my #1 until mid-2022 is now barely hanging onto the top 100 a year and a half later. My most recent ride in my favourite seat was littered with uncomfor...

Ouch, what a colossal fall-off. What used to be my #1 until mid-2022 is now barely hanging onto the top 100 a year and a half later. My most recent ride in my favourite seat was littered with uncomfortable forces and a persistent rattle where, when in combination with its awfully restrictive accordion restraints, makes for an overwhelmingly negative ride experience. The positives in the loops were as strong as ever, and while I do like my fair share of strong G's, they just weren't fun this time around. And it cost £11 to ride

my first virtual reality roller coaster, and it makes a multi million euro roller coaster feel incredibly akin to an arcade motion simulator. while the actual video is fun I think I would rather just ...

my first virtual reality roller coaster, and it makes a multi million euro roller coaster feel incredibly akin to an arcade motion simulator. while the actual video is fun I think I would rather just see theming throughout the ride instead of a screen

surprisingly excellent ride, you really feel that the corkscrews have no snap to them which is a very strange feeling especially for a ride of this type but the whole thing is still bucketloads of fun...

surprisingly excellent ride, you really feel that the corkscrews have no snap to them which is a very strange feeling especially for a ride of this type but the whole thing is still bucketloads of fun. has a bit of a rattle near back row but not awful

The ride isn't shaky enough to call it rough, but it is shaky enough to be an endurance test that is just not a good time at all in combination with the awful restraints. I enjoyed a very little amoun...

The ride isn't shaky enough to call it rough, but it is shaky enough to be an endurance test that is just not a good time at all in combination with the awful restraints. I enjoyed a very little amount of this ride, and it's simply not worth doing again for the slivers that I liked. "Defensive riding" in order to not come off in pain turns the ride into something that is completely unfun as you spend the whole thing bracing for whatever's next instead of, you know, liking what you're riding.

The first half of this ride goes hard. It's super fun, and reminiscent of the greatness of Dino Dash. It's a solid stepping stone family coaster, and the surprise is good too, but after the surprise t...

The first half of this ride goes hard. It's super fun, and reminiscent of the greatness of Dino Dash. It's a solid stepping stone family coaster, and the surprise is good too, but after the surprise the coaster simply has absolutely zero momentum left, leading the ride to end on a bit of a nothing note.

I love the straight parts so much, and all of the hills, but it doesn't take corners very well and the helix ends the ride on a bit of a low point. But those hills are classic "good wooden roller coas...

I love the straight parts so much, and all of the hills, but it doesn't take corners very well and the helix ends the ride on a bit of a low point. But those hills are classic "good wooden roller coaster" and are more than worth it.

Layout just has no clue what it's doing, twisting in random directions with no real sense or reason to them, tracks awfully and quite rough in some spots. Combine the two, especially seated in the bac...

Layout just has no clue what it's doing, twisting in random directions with no real sense or reason to them, tracks awfully and quite rough in some spots. Combine the two, especially seated in the back where you can't see what's coming up, and it equates for a bit of a bad ride. Just like Speed at Oakwood, the 'good' ends after the ejector hill (which is at the beginning of the ride). Even in the front it's difficult to brace for what's coming next, it all adds up to a ride that simply stops being fun after the first 25%.

For me, the main thing that I look for in a coaster is "an out of control experience without doing my head in". And while Fønix is smooth, in fact one of the smoothest coasters I've ever ridden, it is...

For me, the main thing that I look for in a coaster is "an out of control experience without doing my head in". And while Fønix is smooth, in fact one of the smoothest coasters I've ever ridden, it is a deceptively tame ride. A coaster that looks like it should be fantastically wild from offride retains a sense of feeling very controlled & calculated throughout, with the combined restrictiveness of the vest stopping you from being flung too far in really any direction. It is an awesome 'first inversion' coaster, and excellent for families, but doesn't quite hit what I look for in a coaster.

"Why do you have theming twice?" Because the queue and station theming is awesome. It is really really good, some people say the theming is better than the ride. But after that launch, all of the them...

"Why do you have theming twice?" Because the queue and station theming is awesome. It is really really good, some people say the theming is better than the ride. But after that launch, all of the theming is thrown out the window. There is, to put it in as few words as possible, nothing.

An entertainment masterpiece, The Ride to Happiness has everything you could ever want in a roller coaster. You name it, it has it. Fast inversions, slow inversions, floater, death ejector, heavy nega...

An entertainment masterpiece, The Ride to Happiness has everything you could ever want in a roller coaster. You name it, it has it. Fast inversions, slow inversions, floater, death ejector, heavy negatives, heavy positives, forwards, sideways, backwards, onboard audio, over water, spinning, hangtime, whip, a killer soundtrack and a single-digit queue time. I've only ridden a couple of "top 100 roller coasters" but even with my comparatively little experience I'm confident in saying this is in the runnings for the greatest roller coaster ever built. Do not doubt the hype, believe it.

Untamed is a ride that simply does not ever let up. Not a single inch of wasted track with the most powerful airtime I've ever experienced in my life multiple times, with perfectly executed inversions...

Untamed is a ride that simply does not ever let up. Not a single inch of wasted track with the most powerful airtime I've ever experienced in my life multiple times, with perfectly executed inversions. The double-inverting corner stall, also known as the expertly named 'Lagoon Wave', has you just floating out of your seat throughout the entire element. After that it's a relentless punch punch punch of countless sharp ejector hills as the ride seriously throws you as hard as it can into the top of the lap bar, mixed with smooth inversions in between, and I love it. It might be a bit too painful for some, and thigh bruises await if you marathon it, but it's all worth it.

That pull over the first drop in the back rows is simply incredible. It's a powerful start to the ride into the camera and a short but excellent tunnel into a hard-hitting double up, and the ride offi...

That pull over the first drop in the back rows is simply incredible. It's a powerful start to the ride into the camera and a short but excellent tunnel into a hard-hitting double up, and the ride officially begins. A series of left turns turns you round just over 180 into my actual favourite part of the ride, an S bend consisting of two sharp quick downwards turns as you weave under the structure. It throws you hard, and this leaves me in endless laughter every time. The "inversion" took some getting used to as it was a bit of a strange feeling as I'd never gone over like 45 on a woodie before but I got used to it and got round to quite liking it over my seven rides. Left side seats over right side seats. The ride then continued through some brilliant elements including a double down and the finale helix before dropping into a tunnel, then back up into the brakes. Breathless.

Stealth is an awesome ride. It's the textbook definition of "one trick pony", but the one thing that it does do is executed so well that it ranks among my favourite roller coasters of all time. Lookin...

Stealth is an awesome ride. It's the textbook definition of "one trick pony", but the one thing that it does do is executed so well that it ranks among my favourite roller coasters of all time. Looking down the launch in the front row brings great anticipation, the launch itself is unreal, the drop off the top hat is SO good in every single row and the airtime hill is a good way to round things off. It's intensely rerideable, what are you doing if you go to Thorpe and only ride Stealth once?

Fantastic theming, actual sense of fear in the station, violent transitions and THREE moments of ejector airtime. What a fantastic ride. I won't forget that this ride, while it can be smooth, can also...

Fantastic theming, actual sense of fear in the station, violent transitions and THREE moments of ejector airtime. What a fantastic ride. I won't forget that this ride, while it can be smooth, can also be very aggressive and "too much" for some people. It's been pretty consistently smooth for me over the past few years with my last properly "bad" ride being all the way back in 2020. It has admittedly lost a bit of the intensity that it used to have in my first few years of riding it, but I guess that's to be expected with bigger and bigger rides as I start getting on better coasters. Don't get me wrong, Saw is still great and an awesome UK roller coaster! I'm so happy the midcourse brake run isn't trimmed too, it makes for a brilliant finale with the harshest ejector pop on the ride straight into the most intense part, a tiny dive loop that you take at super speed. Thorpe - don't EVER touch this bit, it's perfect as is.

Am I overranking this a bit? Probably, but this ride is just such a vibe. The music in the station fits the ride well, and the ops have great taste in music too. Others find big flaws in the restraint...

Am I overranking this a bit? Probably, but this ride is just such a vibe. The music in the station fits the ride well, and the ops have great taste in music too. Others find big flaws in the restraint system, and this may be a uniqueness bias that I have, but I also had great fun with these restraints. The theming does leave a bit to be desired outside of the trains & station, and the ride is a bit short, but it's still enjoyable. I also wish it was able to operate more than one train

The second half absolutely carries the coaster. The first half is trimmed to death absolutely everywhere and it feels more like you're waiting for the second half. I understand it's a family coaster b...

The second half absolutely carries the coaster. The first half is trimmed to death absolutely everywhere and it feels more like you're waiting for the second half. I understand it's a family coaster but the first half could at least have something to it considering how good the second half is. The trim on the first drop hit so hard I actually felt a bit queasy on it, that was pretty uncomfortable. Just give me the indoor bit please.