Rob - Reviews

I just don't see any point in this ride. It feels awkward presenting yourself as a customer to this thing with a brakeman who quite clearly hates it and has long lost his passion for the job. Combine ...

I just don't see any point in this ride. It feels awkward presenting yourself as a customer to this thing with a brakeman who quite clearly hates it and has long lost his passion for the job. Combine that with an awkward layout that achieves literally nothing and you have a recipe for a vintage scenic railway that leaves you wondering how this is one of the survivors. It feels criminal to have stuff like this among the legendary Rutschebanen at Tivoli

A coaster that's maintained like it's a burden on the park, Rutschebanen is a possible contender for the worst-treated vintage wooden coaster in the world featuring the worst restraints I've ever had ...

A coaster that's maintained like it's a burden on the park, Rutschebanen is a possible contender for the worst-treated vintage wooden coaster in the world featuring the worst restraints I've ever had the displeasure of enduring in my entire life, a layout constantly assaulted by trims that dissolve any speed you might ever gain, and shoddy trackwork resulting in a shake throughout all of this. Not even the lovely tunnel girl can save this disastrous travesty of a ride, it's a failure on all fronts that the park should be ashamed of.

Stall was a little underwhelming as well as the wave turn but it was running slow due to winter (but I don't think the ride speeding up will improve the stall). Definitely prefer back over front. Ever...

Stall was a little underwhelming as well as the wave turn but it was running slow due to winter (but I don't think the ride speeding up will improve the stall). Definitely prefer back over front. Everything from the roll into the structure to the final inversion is BT far my favourite part of the ride with strong airtime and a whippy twisted hill.

Absolute garbage, and as bad as people say. Granted I did ride in a wheel seat for the full experience, but this thing is trash. It's rough, doesn't achieve anything, and while yes it does randomly st...

Absolute garbage, and as bad as people say. Granted I did ride in a wheel seat for the full experience, but this thing is trash. It's rough, doesn't achieve anything, and while yes it does randomly stop becoming rough near the end of the layout, it then becomes a pointless meander devoid of any force or purpose. Useless.

Sadly weaker than Chill, this side sacrifices those nice pops of airtime in favour for some unimpressively repetitive and forceless rolls. You do feel every track connection which results in a "thump ...

Sadly weaker than Chill, this side sacrifices those nice pops of airtime in favour for some unimpressively repetitive and forceless rolls. You do feel every track connection which results in a "thump thump thump" as you progress through the layout, but the interactions are genuinely really fun especially nearer the back where you get a better view of the train that you're dancing with.

I was surprised when I ended up enjoying this side far more than Thrill - a deeper variety in forces, this one is full of airtime which Thrill lacks badly, blending in some nice positives as well. Unf...

I was surprised when I ended up enjoying this side far more than Thrill - a deeper variety in forces, this one is full of airtime which Thrill lacks badly, blending in some nice positives as well. Unfortunately you do feel every track connection which results in a "thump thump thump" as you progress through the layout, but the interactions are genuinely really fun especially nearer the back where you get a better view of the train that you're dancing with.

Unfortunately the more I ride Hyperia the less I like it. Every ride results in a new bone to pick, with my two most recent rides causing it to drop quite substantially, enough for it to lose the crow...

Unfortunately the more I ride Hyperia the less I like it. Every ride results in a new bone to pick, with my two most recent rides causing it to drop quite substantially, enough for it to lose the crown as my favourite UK coaster. While my first ever rides on this were phenomenal in the best way possible, future rides cause me to appreciate it less than I used to. I started to have more issues with the trims, the banked hill after the trims, generally the whole ending sequence. As I rode it more the power of the elements started to wear off, they feel like they prioritise size over performance now. The outerbank used to be mind-blowing, it just exists now. The immelmann used to be ridiculous with its headchopper, it just stopped hitting. I barely remember the stall now. The drop feels like it could've had more whip & peril. Everything after the stall feels so unconventional in the bad way, it might be my least favourite ending on any coaster now. The rattle is pretty bad in the valleys too and I just come off unsatisfied with a headache now. Writing this review has been incredibly unsatisfying with me hating every aspect of the fact that I enjoy it less on every ride. I desperately want to join my friends in raving about how brilliant it is but now I have to be the odd one out, the contrarian, the troll who says "actually it's not that good". I wish every ride was like my first where it blew my mind to pieces, I constantly come back to Thorpe in hopes of redemption and getting that first-time-feeling back which doesn't arrive. I suppose it's achieved something incredible where despite me not liking it as much as I'd hoped I always see if I can get back on it to decipher if these thoughts really are *my* thoughts. It's probably denial or something.

The POVs of this thing look deceptively intense but remember this is still a modern family coaster from Vekoma. It is utterly devoid of any force ever, but if you are able to look past its surprisingl...

The POVs of this thing look deceptively intense but remember this is still a modern family coaster from Vekoma. It is utterly devoid of any force ever, but if you are able to look past its surprisingly tame experience, it's an excellent ride with fast pacing (which felt better towards the back) and great theming. It is unbelievably smooth too and DOES NOT slow down - it keeps ALL of its speed throughout the entire ride which was highly impressive.

I love how loose the shoulder restraint is and the ungodly gap between you and the bar as a result. Combine this with slowing down significantly during the loop and you feel yourself coming up multipl...

I love how loose the shoulder restraint is and the ungodly gap between you and the bar as a result. Combine this with slowing down significantly during the loop and you feel yourself coming up multiple inches from your seat which is highly entertaining. The rest of the ride is absolutely nothing special and completely forceless, but that loop hangtime is something to remember.

It's nice to get back on this after almost a decade. The first half is fantastic with it's loops, but unfortunately fizzles out a bit from the tunnel as the rolls afterwards are taken a little too slo...

It's nice to get back on this after almost a decade. The first half is fantastic with it's loops, but unfortunately fizzles out a bit from the tunnel as the rolls afterwards are taken a little too slowly to be notable.

The low turns were great and that sideways hill was fun too, but nothing else really stood out. It's nice to have done another new Vekoma as well as Fønix, but this really didn't leave much impression...

The low turns were great and that sideways hill was fun too, but nothing else really stood out. It's nice to have done another new Vekoma as well as Fønix, but this really didn't leave much impression on me and I remain a little skeptical of this ride type. Lech - you're next.

That first lift and drop sequence is TERRIFYING, but the restraint that pushes heavily onto your stomach is pretty uncomfortable and the layout is a little weak consisting of just two overbanks and an...

That first lift and drop sequence is TERRIFYING, but the restraint that pushes heavily onto your stomach is pretty uncomfortable and the layout is a little weak consisting of just two overbanks and an airtime hill. Feels like more of a "proof of concept" ride that the X Car can be more than just a sky loop, and it's a bit of a shame that the concept wasn't explored more.

By a landslide, Maurer's best coaster so far out of the ones I've ridden. Tarantula is a fantastic and extremely strong example of a spinning coaster with highlights throughout the entire ride includi...

By a landslide, Maurer's best coaster so far out of the ones I've ridden. Tarantula is a fantastic and extremely strong example of a spinning coaster with highlights throughout the entire ride including a massive drop somewhere in the middle that just sends you out there. A bucketload of fun and easily my favourite coaster in the park.

Judging by past reviews and comparing it to my ride, seems like they've fixed up this ride a lot as the majority of the coaster is now fairly smooth throughout, still needs a bit of work in the first ...

Judging by past reviews and comparing it to my ride, seems like they've fixed up this ride a lot as the majority of the coaster is now fairly smooth throughout, still needs a bit of work in the first half but nothing terrible. But it just makes you realise that the smooth bits are pitifully boring and that the coaster does a depressing amount of nothing with the thousands of feet of track that it's been given. It's a scream of missed potential in the worst possible way, and a wooden coaster of this comical size really should be at least a little bit more exciting than this.