Avis • Dave Scott

Had the luxury of having multiple stay-on rides, at night, at Halloween! Given the space constraints in Tivoli Gardens that it exists at all is an ach...

Had the luxury of having multiple stay-on rides, at night, at Halloween! Given the space constraints in Tivoli Gardens that it exists at all is an achievement. Not the best B&M you'll ever find but has oodles of atmosphere in a great park. Night riding repeatedly cannot be recommended enough!

Ace coaster, and one that almost cannot be believed to be portable, even after all these years. Clunky two part restraints are a dislike especially th...

Ace coaster, and one that almost cannot be believed to be portable, even after all these years. Clunky two part restraints are a dislike especially the shoulders, though I can see why they are necessary. The ride would have clearance issues in certain places if your arms were free. Pacing isn't the best; after the 5 inversions the ride still has quite a bit of run time, but can't do an awful lot with it. Still an incredible achievement and long may it continue!

The Smiler is Marmite. Love it or hate it, it seems. The latest Gerstlauers have learned that rate-of-change-of-acceleration is important. Smiler was ...

The Smiler is Marmite. Love it or hate it, it seems. The latest Gerstlauers have learned that rate-of-change-of-acceleration is important. Smiler was on that learning curve, but not right. Suspect build quality from day one, even pre-accident it had a lot of problems. The spin-and-spew quality to the ride is, I will grant it, somewhat novel, but those trains, oh those trains are hateful bolt-upright things and highly uncomfortable. Also, I intensely dislike the queue line. Yay! Let's deliberately pack you all in like cattle in a cage. Not a pleasant experience. Given a shorter queue I'd maybe have enjoyed it somewhat more; however the only thing that will entice me into a return is a refit with Hangtime-style clamshells. Some legends say the Black Hole was cursed; and I am inclined to believe the Smiler is proof!

Horror theme is hardly enticing; and a crap ride to boot. Like other early Gerstlauers, instant migraine. Merlin can afford far better and being short...

Horror theme is hardly enticing; and a crap ride to boot. Like other early Gerstlauers, instant migraine. Merlin can afford far better and being short changed with crappy rides in one of the few parks that could actually finance something good in the UK is doubly annoying.

Instant migraine. Oakwood were looking for something impressive within their budget, which I guess the ride ticks that box, but absolutely no desire t...

Instant migraine. Oakwood were looking for something impressive within their budget, which I guess the ride ticks that box, but absolutely no desire to go back on this. Gerstlauers I like are very rare indeed, and this is definitely not one of them.

Good layout in a half interesting setting if it's not overran with rubbish and graffitti. Frequent power cuts in the park mean frequent downtime, and ...

Good layout in a half interesting setting if it's not overran with rubbish and graffitti. Frequent power cuts in the park mean frequent downtime, and the ride has poor capacity at the best of times. Routinely fitted with 50-pence piece shaped wheels, and the restraints aren't far short of requiring a yoga instructor to get in an out. Can't help but think it was intended to have TTD-style lap bars; but insurers got nervous after some unfortunate events elsewhere.

It's hard to image a 250ft coaster being dull, but somehow SFMM managed it with this one! We've been spoiled by so many other, better hypercoasters. T...

It's hard to image a 250ft coaster being dull, but somehow SFMM managed it with this one! We've been spoiled by so many other, better hypercoasters. The MCB grinds the ride to almost a complete halt, taking a lot of the G out of the "fabled" helix. The drops aren't especially steep, airtime is limited due to use of straight-track rather than parabolas (think Blackpool's Big One), and the boxy-trains by todays standards don't expose you anywhere near the same as Intamin or B&M efforts.

1/2 star is too high! An interesting "feature" was that this ride could be despatched without the restraints being locked - and remember quite clearly...

1/2 star is too high! An interesting "feature" was that this ride could be despatched without the restraints being locked - and remember quite clearly having to hold them down for a mate sat next to me!

My favourite wooden coaster at BPB still standing, it seemed to notably decline after Richard Rodriguez' bonkers record setting. In dire need of much ...

My favourite wooden coaster at BPB still standing, it seemed to notably decline after Richard Rodriguez' bonkers record setting. In dire need of much TLC.

The Crash National. Sorry. 20 years ago this was a 4-star attraction. Maybe we're spoiled by 20-years worth of accumulated experience elsewhere but th...

The Crash National. Sorry. 20 years ago this was a 4-star attraction. Maybe we're spoiled by 20-years worth of accumulated experience elsewhere but there are coasters of comparable vintage in a far better state than this (Rutschebanen at Tivoli Gardens for instance, or most of Kennywood).

An obscene ride when it first opened - brilliant setting, and the out-and-back elements are a lot of fun. Somewhat dislike the twister elements. Chaos...

An obscene ride when it first opened - brilliant setting, and the out-and-back elements are a lot of fun. Somewhat dislike the twister elements. Chaos might float some peoples boats but coming back battered and bruised just because the trains don't track properly isn't so much fun.

A former world number 1, on last visit it sadly resembled sitting on a jackhammer, and marred by being operated hopelessly slowly. It's smaller, older...

A former world number 1, on last visit it sadly resembled sitting on a jackhammer, and marred by being operated hopelessly slowly. It's smaller, older brother at Oakwood has aged much more gracefully.

I was one of the lucky ones to ride Kumba in it's opening year, completely oblivious to it's significance at the time. Still a great ride this far dow...

I was one of the lucky ones to ride Kumba in it's opening year, completely oblivious to it's significance at the time. Still a great ride this far down the line and Busch work very hard to look after it - allegedly it's one of the more complex B&M's to maintain. It doesn't share the same structural features as virtually all other B&M's, take a close look at the joints between track and structure. It can be a bit rattley at times but it's also not scared to apply forces, something newer rides often back away from.

OK launch, and forget the rest - does essentially nothing with all that speed. I doubt Rita will outlive any of the other Intamin Accelerators, the si...

OK launch, and forget the rest - does essentially nothing with all that speed. I doubt Rita will outlive any of the other Intamin Accelerators, the site it's on is one of the few locations in the towers where development is permissible above the treeline.

With the VR firmly in the bin where it belongs, this landmark of a ride remains is hugely enjoyable. In a park full of monster coasters, it naturally ...

With the VR firmly in the bin where it belongs, this landmark of a ride remains is hugely enjoyable. In a park full of monster coasters, it naturally looks rather tame these days. Nontheless it's in a good location, uses the trees and hills to good effect, and saves the big trick to the end. It also serves a very important role of being a bridge between kiddie coasters and todays 200 foot tall scream machines. Hugely historically important and deserves looking after for a long time to come.

Dragon Khan has unfortunately, seen better days. It is exhibiting signs of high mileage, rattles, bangs and, by B&M standards the trains are not track...

Dragon Khan has unfortunately, seen better days. It is exhibiting signs of high mileage, rattles, bangs and, by B&M standards the trains are not tracking nearly as well as they could be. It's intensity is high, as with most of the early B&M's, and still a good ride, but in present condition not the excellent one that it could and should be. Would be an easy 5 star if better looked after.

Scream! In any other park or location this ride would rate so much better. Decently intense for a post Y2K B&M, and actually, the unassuming "it's j...

Scream! In any other park or location this ride would rate so much better. Decently intense for a post Y2K B&M, and actually, the unassuming "it's just a ride come and play" mentality is fun. At SFMM, it's job is to be a capacity sink, a job which it does very well. We didn't even have to get off the back row on our last visit! Anything sat next to Twisted Colossus was always going to have a tough time of it in the rankings. A bit of planting up wouldn't go amiss to dress it up a bit and give something other than the bare-concrete to look at? it is quite literally the car-park coaster. The rise of lapbar-only coasters is perhaps also starting to make B&M's older restraint designs look a little obsolescent; you never know we may see something to compete in time.

Had the privilege to ride the Hulk in both it's original and retracked form. Both were best from the back seat, by a country mile. Both are headbangy,...

Had the privilege to ride the Hulk in both it's original and retracked form. Both were best from the back seat, by a country mile. Both are headbangy, but smoother in the back seat, and both demand the ride be ridden not ragdolled. I dare say I thought the retracked variant may be rougher than the original! That said, the triple whammy out of the station and quick-fire inversion sequence are hard to beat. Second half utterly forgettable after the mid-course brakes - but then keeping up the pace of the first half would be a near impossible task. One of the better coasters in Florida, even in spite of the roughness. Go on Universal, I dare you, figure out a way to put the B&M Hyper restrains onto the Hulk... Somehow...?!

Oh, I want to like Cheetah Hunt more than I do. As a concept, it is kind of clever but unless you are listening to the nerdy explanation in the cattle...

Oh, I want to like Cheetah Hunt more than I do. As a concept, it is kind of clever but unless you are listening to the nerdy explanation in the cattle-pen queue line you'll miss that. Multiple high powered launches are always a good thing, and Intamin are never shy of putting force into their coasters. The awful restraints and vibration spoil unfortunately detract from the rest of the circuit.

Wodan was a real surprise for me. I'm not exactly what you call a conventional enthusiast with regards wooden coasters, but GCI are consistently an ex...

Wodan was a real surprise for me. I'm not exactly what you call a conventional enthusiast with regards wooden coasters, but GCI are consistently an exception. We had the luxury of staying at Europa Park a couple of days, and had plenty of time to take in it's nuances. The hard-to-remember layout, much airtime and laterals handled well all contribute to it being a blast. Night riding with Fenrir roaring into the sky highly recommended (and impressive).

An excellent ride, and of different style to everything else at SFMM, not an easy achievement given the variety they have. I can think of nothing bad ...

An excellent ride, and of different style to everything else at SFMM, not an easy achievement given the variety they have. I can think of nothing bad about Full Throttle really; but it's not a coaster you'd travel a long way to visit by itself.

Icon is a bit of a first for Blackpool. Almost all of their coasters to date had their origins in pre-CAD design; whereas Icon is very obviously a fin...

Icon is a bit of a first for Blackpool. Almost all of their coasters to date had their origins in pre-CAD design; whereas Icon is very obviously a finely tuned laser-cut precision machine. Unfortunately, it is also well known that the park's owner is not much of a big coaster fan (oh, the irony!) which might have biased some of the decisions on layout. The launches on Icon are functional but insipid. The trains are like other Mack Megas excellent hardware; and the inversions effective, but not earth shattering. The ride is better once it's warmed up it has to be said. A punchier launch up to a slightly higher speed might still be possible; and would improve matters greatly. The main downside is that there is an awful lot of pointless left-to-right swaying - might have been better to sacrifice a bit of length to fit in an inversion or two extra instead. The ride has done it's job of putting Blackpool on the map; and is hopefully a good sign for future investments.

Best coaster in Seaworld, well paced and makes good use of the flying coaster tech. The pretzel loop is forceful and memorable, but this ride more tha...

Best coaster in Seaworld, well paced and makes good use of the flying coaster tech. The pretzel loop is forceful and memorable, but this ride more than just a G-machine. I really like how Seaworld don't big their rides up as terror machines, rather, instead, dress it up as "come fly with us" - much more fun and inviting to a wider audience. My only dislike comes from the mid course brakes, which are largely unnecessary for anything other than 2-train-on-track simultaneous operation, which I have never seen occur!

Most flying coasters built to date have been plonked out on flat, open land. Not so, with Tatsu, which makes excellent use of the hills on "Samurai Su...

Most flying coasters built to date have been plonked out on flat, open land. Not so, with Tatsu, which makes excellent use of the hills on "Samurai Summit". Much of the ride's "outside facing" time is spent at high altitude, cleverly interspersed with dives at speed into the woods. I loved Air when it opened (one of the few that did!), and it has of course been completely superceded now, but Tatsu is something else entirely. 2nd best coaster at Magic Mountain IMO.

Ooooh! Owww! Kingda Cow! The OTSR's and rough track spoiled this ride for me. The airtime hill on the return is real redout territory - military pilot...

Ooooh! Owww! Kingda Cow! The OTSR's and rough track spoiled this ride for me. The airtime hill on the return is real redout territory - military pilots are taught to not pull heavy negative G because it's seriously uncomfortable having blood jammed into your eyes. Kingda Ka gave me a massive headache almost immediately. What a come down from the masterpiece that is Top Thrill Dragster. in fact on the day I remember clearly stating that I preferred the little vekoma booster bike at Flamingo Land. Still a lot of fun to try once, but there are better rides at SFGAdv.

Old school B&M from a time before restrictions on G-loading. The only real fault are the heavy mid-course brakes to take the sting out of it's batwing...

Old school B&M from a time before restrictions on G-loading. The only real fault are the heavy mid-course brakes to take the sting out of it's batwing, one of the heaviest loaded elements you'll find anywhere. On last visit we had the back rows to ourselves; to the point where we could repeat ride without getting off. The cool kids can muck about on Cheetah Hunt's gimmicks, more space for the us here on a ride really worth travelling half way round the world to see!

Oziris really saved my last visit to Parc Asterix. The layout is very decent, no annoying mid course brake run, but like almost B&M's could use an ext...

Oziris really saved my last visit to Parc Asterix. The layout is very decent, no annoying mid course brake run, but like almost B&M's could use an extra half a G in places to throw some intensity into the mix.

Nemesis is the reason I'm a coaster fan, closely followed by Rollercoaster Tycoon. It may well have been responsible for staving off insanity! The rid...

Nemesis is the reason I'm a coaster fan, closely followed by Rollercoaster Tycoon. It may well have been responsible for staving off insanity! The ride is highly original, substituting raw speed for high rates of turn and close proximity to the ground. For such a simple and effective trick not to be used widely elsewhere is a travesty. If by some miracle you can catch Nemesis on a cold, wet night you will hardly ever find a better time on a rollercoaster. Watching the Towers Fireworks from Nemesis is highly recommended!

Mako is a welcome change in Florida; which has lacked a steel airtime machine for far too long. I am hoping there are more to come! The layout is func...

Mako is a welcome change in Florida; which has lacked a steel airtime machine for far too long. I am hoping there are more to come! The layout is functional but not exactly inspired; a straight forward out-and-back rather than attempting to do too much clever with all that power. Row 3 seems to offer the most airtime (bizarre, yes!)