Avis de Slovis Celery

Colossus at Thorpe Park. What a fucking mess. walking up to the ride, you get to see the literal shit covered track, manky and gross. all the ground around the ride is covered in litter and just dirt....

Colossus at Thorpe Park. What a fucking mess. walking up to the ride, you get to see the literal shit covered track, manky and gross. all the ground around the ride is covered in litter and just dirt. You enter the hour plus queue because it has god awful capacity. you walk through the overgrown queue, passing by overfilled bins, more litter, but some decent shots of the coaster around you. you walk under a bridge into a cattlepen, no views of the ride, only cattlepen of people stupid enough to wait over an hour. you walk back under a manky bridge, and go pass a closed shop, and a prime view of black lift hill gunk. then you either get front row or every other row. Wait an extra 30 minutes on your wait already 30 min more than the advertised wait - but have a slightly less painful experience, or go in every other row and get assigned to the second row of a train because of course life hates you. You climb into a super cramped train, where anyone above the height of 5ft 2 will will have to awkwardly part their legs so you don't dislocate your knees on the row infront of you. Then pull down the stupidly heavy, bulky restraints, which you and the ride op need to pull down together because they're so heavy. So 5 minutes later you dispatch up the stupidly sluggish lift. you turn, getting a view of the infinitely better coaster (saw) right next to you, and it'll tease you with the fact Loggers leap is still standing. you go down the stupidly shallow drop, getting 1g of force in the back. Then you get to the bottom of the drop, and despite the decent force you feel, the could literally feels like it's going to fall apart like in a crappy cartoon. Then you go over a hill, with no airtime to speak of, and even if there was, the positives on the loop smashed to massive restraint so far down it's destroying your thighs. You enter the Cobra Roll, as your head gets smashed around all the way though the element until the jank exit. Then you enter the best part of the ride, the first corkscrew, you do get whipped through the element, which is rather fun if you brace yourself on you bulky restraint, but then there's the second one which is stupidly brutally rough. Then you crawl through a forgiving break in the pain, into the worst element(s) on any coaster I've ever experienced. The first Roll smashes your head to the side, and presses it the you head to the restraint like a vice, while your thighs are being brutalised with super sustained hangtime. the you fall back into your seat, just to have another super painful roll, then another, then another. Each worse than the last and. the you enter a brief moment of dread as the most sustained roll happens, smashing your head in the opposite direction. Then you crawl into the brakes, where you will have to wait for a stupidly long time due to the dreadful operations. Then you leave to go do something better.

This ride has a great launch, fast pace, decent airtime, and intense bends. The restraints are a bit bulky, and T Bars would do just fine on it. Enjoyable when riding, but when you get off, you kinda...

This ride has a great launch, fast pace, decent airtime, and intense bends. The restraints are a bit bulky, and T Bars would do just fine on it. Enjoyable when riding, but when you get off, you kinda just feel empty inside.

Glad they took the VR off, as it ruined the capacity, and wasn't as enjoyable as the normal ride. That normal ride with fun, smooth and the Flying coaster restraints are as comfy as a flying restrain...

Glad they took the VR off, as it ruined the capacity, and wasn't as enjoyable as the normal ride. That normal ride with fun, smooth and the Flying coaster restraints are as comfy as a flying restraint can be! This ride is better in the back for me, as you feel the pull over the drop and the fly to lie, and that bunny hill gives airtime which is odd on a flying coaster.

Dragon Khan is fun. The First Drop gives great floater all the way down, but the ride lacked positive force, where you know that's what it's designed to do. It had some notions of this on my last nigh...

Dragon Khan is fun. The First Drop gives great floater all the way down, but the ride lacked positive force, where you know that's what it's designed to do. It had some notions of this on my last night ride, but my day rides, the positive force was very much lacking. The Cobra Roll and Corkscrews are the places where this ride's rattle shows very aggressively, but luckily is isn't strong in the rest of the layout. The mid course essentially stops the train in it's pace, essentially ruining the second half. All this said, there is 1 element of this ride which is absolutely slaps... the 0 G Roll, I'd hardly call it 0 G, it's more like a moment of such aggressive intensity it frankly left me gobsmacked. It's the only reason with ride doesn't rank lower for me.