Reviews • Sam P.

Pretty much a big orange heap of shit. Awful restraints, the shoulder pads are completely unnecessary. The drop is fun but then the train rattles the ...

Pretty much a big orange heap of shit. Awful restraints, the shoulder pads are completely unnecessary. The drop is fun but then the train rattles the entire way round the layout, it's very unpleasant. The overbank is particularly brutal. The decent hangtime is ruined by the terrible restraints. Awful capacity as well with the 4 seat cars. I have no desire to ride it again

The biggest issue with Colossus, the original 10 inversion coaster, is the God awful restraints. And whilst Sik is significantly better than that, it'...

The biggest issue with Colossus, the original 10 inversion coaster, is the God awful restraints. And whilst Sik is significantly better than that, it's once again the train which is the issue. Those lap bars are just not big enough to adequately support your body through the 5 rolls, you get thrown around and hung off your thighs and it's really rather unpleasant. Its a shame as they make the rest of the ride much, much better, hence I've listed them as a pro and a con, but man they hurt at the end. Up to that point though, Sik does right some of the wrongs of Colossus, the profiling changes make a big difference and the first drop is great, as is the speedy cable lift. The branding is mixed, the name is still stupid but the station is awesome, such a great atmosphere in there. Should have a second train really but this is flamingo land so no chance that'll ever happen. It's a good ride but thanks to the pain at the end it ends up leaving a bit to be desired

Realistically it's pretty terrible, but it is unique so it gets extra points for that! Wasn't too rough, just a bit janky. Very weird to do basically ...

Realistically it's pretty terrible, but it is unique so it gets extra points for that! Wasn't too rough, just a bit janky. Very weird to do basically a wacky worm that's an invert!

What a bizarre powered coaster. Very strange layout but actually quite fun. Strange pacing though, it goes fast when you think it'd be slow and slow w...

What a bizarre powered coaster. Very strange layout but actually quite fun. Strange pacing though, it goes fast when you think it'd be slow and slow when you think it'd be fast. Runs well, very smooth, comfortable trains. It's a unique ride and I do like that it's not just a standard Mack version

It's true what they say, Millenium has to be the smoothest old school vekoma going, barely a single jolt on the whole layout. Unfortunately the ride i...

It's true what they say, Millenium has to be the smoothest old school vekoma going, barely a single jolt on the whole layout. Unfortunately the ride itself suffers from a pretty uninspiring layout, there's a few moments of intensity but generally I found it quite dull really. Still fun but definitely nothing special

I'll start by saying that the Odyssey is not a smooth or indeed comfortable experience. This is of course an SLC, so that is to be expected. The first...

I'll start by saying that the Odyssey is not a smooth or indeed comfortable experience. This is of course an SLC, so that is to be expected. The first section till after the cobra roll isn't too bad but the sidewinder in particular and then through to the brake run is pretty brutal. The front and middle is worse than the back as well which i thought was odd. This however doesn't detract from the fact that its an awesome ride, the layout is brilliant and the first drop is properly top drawer, one of the best first drops going. So forceful as well, it pulls some serious g's. The train itself isn't as bad as the standard SLC ones either, it's a more comfortable set up which is nice. If it was smooth it might genuinely be a top coaster but as it is, there's still a lot going for it

Saw is such an irritating ride. The theming is really excellent and very immersive, and the layout is brilliant, very intense, no dead spots and plent...

Saw is such an irritating ride. The theming is really excellent and very immersive, and the layout is brilliant, very intense, no dead spots and plenty of airtime as well. The indoor section is by far the best bit of the ride. But it's ruined all too often by how hideously rough it is. Occasionally it runs okay but it's usually brutal at the back and completely unbearable at the front. All of the outdoor section is bad but the pothole at the bottom of the drop and the dive loop and turn into the brakes are the worst parts. So much potential but sadly the roughness kills it

Dragon's Fury is an elite level spinning coaster, Excellent, diverse layout with loads going on, some nice forceful turns and even an airtime hill whi...

Dragon's Fury is an elite level spinning coaster, Excellent, diverse layout with loads going on, some nice forceful turns and even an airtime hill which delivers some floatyness, and long enough to feel complete whilst not being too long that people feel ill too often. Great first drop too into the horseshoe which is very fun. In terms of spin, it ranges from good to utterly insane depending how the car is weighted, my tip is get 2 heavies and ascend the lift backwards, it gets going like mad. If you aren't heavy though, and I accept that I am blessed with heft which makes spinning coasters spin more, then you'll still have a great time on this coaster. Capacity though is abysmal, that queue is a slow mover so it's probably one to do either last thing, or around 2pm whilst the general public is waiting for their lunch to go down!

After a good few rides on Mandrill Mayhem since it opened, i've come to the conclusion that it's a criminally underrated ride. It's certainly a bit st...

After a good few rides on Mandrill Mayhem since it opened, i've come to the conclusion that it's a criminally underrated ride. It's certainly a bit strange, but there's a really diverse range of forces, and some excellent moments which makes this B&M Family Wing coaster a really solid attraction. There's 4 launches in total, the main one having some decent kick to it, as does the final small boost which is particularly good in the backwards row - well, backwards to start with anyway. The scorpion tail in the backwards row is the highlight of the ride, awesome floaty half-upside downness, but I also really enjoy the roll which has lots of hangtime, and the helix is pretty intense as you ascend it. There is a bit of a shake and a bounce to it, which is worse the further forward you sit, and worse on the outside seats, but it's more an annoyance than actually being uncomfortable or painful. Theming is excellent, the landscaping has grown up now so it really resembles a jungle in the area, and the station has loads of fun details. I'm not convinced that it's the right ride for Chessington, the park needs a capacity monster and a 1 train shuttle coaster is not that, but as a family thrill coaster it's really very fun, and I can always appreciate a park and a manufacturer trying something very unique!

If I had 15 seconds left to live, Stealth is how I would choose to spend it. It's my most ridden coaster by a mile, partly because it's so easy to rac...

If I had 15 seconds left to live, Stealth is how I would choose to spend it. It's my most ridden coaster by a mile, partly because it's so easy to rack up big numbers on, but mostly because that launch never gets old. The pure power is just addictive, and i'm very much addicted to it. You get superb airtime on the top hat too, front or back are both great up there. Front is the best for the launch of course but I love the pull over the top in the back. That's all you get, but I don't mind at all when it's that good, i'll just go again! The restraints aren't the best, I'd love for it to have T-bars, but they've recently refurbed the trains so they are at least brand new, great to see Thorpe Park investing in Stealth when other parks are removing their accelerators. And for a ride approaching 20 years old it still runs very well, it's not completely smooth but I think that adds to the intensity of it. You have to love the theming too, it's so simple but the speedway aesthetic coupled with the amazing WWTP Radio soundtrack gives the entire area such an awesome cheery vibe, a nice changeup for the UK. She even gave me a rollback on opening day 2025, which cemented Stealth's place as one of my all time favourite rides, and one I hope has many more awesome years in her yet

Strange ride this, lovely location with a view over the estuary, and actually ran very smooth. But the trains are cramped and the profiling felt prett...

Strange ride this, lovely location with a view over the estuary, and actually ran very smooth. But the trains are cramped and the profiling felt pretty uncomfortable too. Still. A decent kids coaster and quite a lot bigger than your standard kiddie ride. Mind the knees though!

Have to say, I was expecting this to be pure pain, but it was actually very smooth and pretty enjoyable. Nice views across the estuary thanks to its r...

Have to say, I was expecting this to be pure pain, but it was actually very smooth and pretty enjoyable. Nice views across the estuary thanks to its rooftop location as well!

A smaller Tivoli than the Green Scream, but another custom layout, a shorter train, and a great helix which is pretty whippy. Runs excellently as well...

A smaller Tivoli than the Green Scream, but another custom layout, a shorter train, and a great helix which is pretty whippy. Runs excellently as well, nice and smooth. Very fun ride

Tivolis are such an underrated coaster model, and this is the biggest Tivoli going. Insanely long train of course, which makes the ride feel very weir...

Tivolis are such an underrated coaster model, and this is the biggest Tivoli going. Insanely long train of course, which makes the ride feel very weird, but that's all part of the charm. Lovely view from the top of the lift and a good fun layout, nice to see a unique one rather than the 3 standard models. Great fun ride, terrible ops though which did hurt it a bit

Rage was my final UK eurofigher cred, and I have to say I found it good fun, and better than Saw the Ride. It's a short layout but there's loads packe...

Rage was my final UK eurofigher cred, and I have to say I found it good fun, and better than Saw the Ride. It's a short layout but there's loads packed into a very tiny footprint. Excellent first drop as normal with a Eurofighter, into a super slow loop with some great hangtime. The heartline roll also has great hangtime before the whippy helix finale. The only part of the ride I didn't like is the cutback, which aside from not really doing much was very jarring and uncomfortable. Although overall for an 18 year old Gerstlauer I thought it rode pretty well, particularly on the back row. Lovely location for a coaster as well. Good fun and a nice small signature coaster for the park

How to describe the Smiler. Probably the best word would be inconsistent. Or perhaps infuriating. In the space of 2 days I had an incredible front row...

How to describe the Smiler. Probably the best word would be inconsistent. Or perhaps infuriating. In the space of 2 days I had an incredible front row ride, probably the best ride i've ever had on it, smooth and intense, and a howler of a back row which rattled the entire way round and was brutally uncomfortable through the infamously poorly profiled inversions 12 and 13. In the same vein, the queue can be horrifically slow moving some days and breaks down every 5 minutes, and yet others they pump the trains out like mad, it runs flawlessly and you never stop moving. In some ways, all this adds to the charm of a ride with a rocky history and a theme that is rather unhinged, you never really know what you'll get and indeed when you'll get it. The roughness has a lot to do with which train you get, there's 2 that are fine, one that's bad, and one that's truly horrendous, all luck of the draw of course. Always keep your head forward for the cobra roll and the subsequent corkscrew, and the jolt on the first drop. Despite all the very many flaws, I do like the Smiler and when it's good, it really is world class with some amazing elements, just be prepared for the roulette wheel to backfire sometimes!

Of all the coasters i've done, I think Oblivion is one that's grown on me the most. It's super short of course and is literally just the drop, but tha...

Of all the coasters i've done, I think Oblivion is one that's grown on me the most. It's super short of course and is literally just the drop, but that drop is really excellent and is super intense all the way down. No matter how often you ride, that drop stays very intimidating as well, having over the drop facing the big dark hole doesn't get old. The view from the top is also incredible and is a huge part of the experience in itself, absolutely gorgeous on a clear day looking out across the park and Staffordshire. I think it really shines at night as well, the tunnel is pitch black and adds another layer of thrill. Short, yes, but it does what it does very well

Very strange ride, very strange profiling, janky as you like, very strange location in a basement in Camden. But you get plenty of laps for your plent...

Very strange ride, very strange profiling, janky as you like, very strange location in a basement in Camden. But you get plenty of laps for your plenty of pounds, the weird airtime hill does give a bit of floater before slamming your back into the seat, and it takes the final flat turn with some decent speed. Do love that there's an indoor coaster in London though, even if it is in Camden!

Wicker Man has always been a ride that punches well above it's stature. The way the train rips through the course is crazy for a coaster with a listed...

Wicker Man has always been a ride that punches well above it's stature. The way the train rips through the course is crazy for a coaster with a listed top speed of 44mph, the sense of speed and intensity is just superb. Lots of great airtime pops throughout but the undoubted highlights are the first drop, the drop out of the statue and the drop off the turnaround in the back row, and the awesome speed hill before the final pass through the statue which is excellent in any row. Generally runs pretty smooth too, but not without that classic wooden coaster shake which just adds to the intensity. The theming is outstanding as well of course, goes without saying really. It's even more epic at night too, easily one of the best night rides in the country and it runs even faster on those late closes. It'll always be one of my favourites!

Spinball Whizzer suffers from what i'll call the Inferno effect. In that it's simply not as good as another coaster of the same type in a different pa...

Spinball Whizzer suffers from what i'll call the Inferno effect. In that it's simply not as good as another coaster of the same type in a different park in the chain, in this case the elite Dragon's Fury at Chessington. That's perhaps lead to me being a bit harsh on it over the years. Judging it on it's own merit, the layout is fine, but not overly inspired. There are some opportunities for some good spinning action though, stick 2 heavies such as myself going backwards out of the station, with either 2 whippets or ideally no one facing forward, and the car flings itself round as it swings right off the lift hill in an excellent manner. It rides okay as well, it's not as smooth as Fury is but it doesn't batter you too much most of the time. Just like fury however, capacity is an issue, although at least at Towers it is merely a supporting cast member. Certainly worth a go if the queue is short though, and also great fun if there's a group of you!

The location makes this ride. You really feel very high up on the hillside, and the view is excellent. The ride itself is fun enough, and it does take...

The location makes this ride. You really feel very high up on the hillside, and the view is excellent. The ride itself is fun enough, and it does take the layout pretty fast as it's taller than the average family boomerang. I do find the lap bars very tight if you're a taller rider, and at a popular park like Liseberg the capacity is pretty poor. Good fun though and a nice intermediate coaster in the parks lineup

These Zierer force models never seem to run very well from the few i've done. This one's particularly janky with some real bad turns and jolts. It's v...

These Zierer force models never seem to run very well from the few i've done. This one's particularly janky with some real bad turns and jolts. It's very pretty though so I will give it that

Megafobia is straight out of God's playbook on how to do a woodie. The layout is immensely good, and the train absolutely hauls through the layout lik...

Megafobia is straight out of God's playbook on how to do a woodie. The layout is immensely good, and the train absolutely hauls through the layout like something possessed. There's some crazy aggressive laterals in several sections, classic CCI turns with little banking that really throw you to the side. But its the airtime that makes the ride absolutely elite. The first and second drops in the back are amazing, full standing ejector, but it's the first hill in the front that is the star of the show after the retrack, that hill sends you absolutely sailing out of your seat, and the double down part 2 just adds the bit extra on. There's several other great moments too, but generally the airtime is better at the front of the train. Though you get it in pretty much every seat. The lap bars aren't the best, they do dig into your leg a bit, and whilst the retrack has smoothed out the majority of the worst spots, there's a particularly bad valley and the final turnaround is also pretty brutal now. But that doesn't detract from the fact that Megafobia is a truly elite coaster, particularly at night, and rightfully sits very high up in my UK rankings

Talk about presence. The area around Energylandia is pretty flat, so you can see Hyperion from miles around. It's also visible when flying into Krakow...

Talk about presence. The area around Energylandia is pretty flat, so you can see Hyperion from miles around. It's also visible when flying into Krakow airport which is very cool. Its just massive and with it being the first thing you see of the park, it gets you so hyped to ride. And boy does it live up to that hype. You ascend the lift super fast, then get flung over that first drop. On the back it's seriously insane ejector, and the front is seriously insane hangtime. One of the best first drops I've ever experienced for sure. The following hill delivers great airtime, before the awesome dive loop turnaround that really whips you through. From there there's more airtime, a mix of floater and serious ejector, and lots of low down intense turns, which is amazing for the speed, it's paced really well and you fly into the brakes. The final hill before the splashdown is a great end as well, proper ejector on that. The front row is incredible but my afternoon ride on the back was right up there as one of my best ever coaster rides. The outer wing seats do have a pretty strong bounce to them, fortunately the trains are super comfortable so it's not a killer, but I do prefer the inside seats for a comfortable ride. It also has a really stupid queue line. But this is one elite ride, and thanks to Zadra's dire trains, its my favourite on park too

The mighty former Beastie from Alton Towers! Just a typical kids ride of course. I put rattle as "feels like it's gonna fall over" isn't an option. I ...

The mighty former Beastie from Alton Towers! Just a typical kids ride of course. I put rattle as "feels like it's gonna fall over" isn't an option. I was able to basically lift my lap bar out of the train which added to the thrill