Coaster reviews

Theming Intensity Headbanging Discomfort

This has really suffered over the years, and what was a 8/9 out of 10 only just about scrapes a 7. Some really great inversions here, but it has got really quite uncomfortable!

Inversions Pace Fun

Another well themed coaster, that while holds nothing to the original nemesis, is a really great ride in it’s own right. A really solid front sear t ride as you wizz round the volcano and jungle!

First Drop Inversions Comfort Too short Harness

A really solid ride, with great use of theming throughout. Right hand side is definitely better though!

Theming

Good fun if a little slow at times, but has some awesome theming all the way round, and some really good near misses. Choo choo!

Inversions Location Intensity Dead spots

An absolute bona-fide classic. Alton Towers’ unique height restricitions caused this to be built below ground level and it’s all the better for it. With the iconic roar, theming, and great name it’s a real work of art, and a fantastic ride experience too! Maintains great speed and flings you round without resorting to too much head banging. Slight dead spot at the end but apart from that it’s a must ride! I hope it doesn’t lose too much of it’s character in the retrack!

Pace Fun Capacity

I think this ride gets a bad rap. It’s quite fast in places and the spins are unpredictable enough to make each ride different. Theming could do with an update, and the capacity isn’t the best, but I like this one.

Launch Intensity Capacity Dead spots

Pretty fast launch, pretty boring layout. The first banked turn is very good, but there’s not too much of note after that. Always has long queues which I can never quite understand.

Theming Location Intensity Too short

One of my all-time faves. Yes, it’s super short and it does only one thing - but boy does it do it well! Surprisingly intense drop, incredible noise when you enter the hole, it looks great off-ride and you get superb views of Alton Towers at the top, with time to take it in! An absolute classic dive coaster. Love the theming too.

Fun Intensity

It’s fun, but pretty sedate. A great starting coaster if anyone’s apprehensive about them, but it’s not great for repeat rides - the novelty quickly wears off. Also I much preferred the ‘Air’ theming!

Capacity Too short

It’s a bit random for Southend, but I’m glad it’s there. Nothing much to get too excited about, but it’s great having a big ride in such a small park next to the beach! Practically a walk on even at peak times which is awesome!

Launch Fun Rattle Discomfort Layout

Probably one of my most memorable coaster experiences of recent times - I had no idea what this ride was, so imagine my surprise when I got hit by the intensity and speed of the launch! It’s admittedly super rough and has a few dead spots but it’s definitely worth a ride - it’s just fun! The lake section is great on the left side too. A must ride, but probably not one you’ll be able to repeat much!

First Drop Inversions Intensity Rattle Discomfort

I only rode this twice on the front, so I can’t comment on the rattle further back, but this is a quite intense and impressive ride. Some great, fast inversions and build up of speed all the way round. Could have been a 9, but it gave me an awful headache second time round (probably due to the intensity)! Hard to repeat ride.

Theming Disappointing! Discomfort Pointless

This is a bizarre ride. It just doesn’t really do anything of any note at all. It has nice theming but that’s about it. Terrible track design.

Fun Discomfort

Slightly rough but actually surprisingly fast! Not bad at all for a kids coaster.

Airtimes Discomfort Dead spots

Fairly decent small wooden coaster. Not particularly exciting, and will destroy your knees if you’re tall!

Rattle Discomfort Tear it down!

Slightly better for discomfort than the red side but there’s not much in it. Same again here - horrible ride experience with extreme discomfort. Do not under any circumstances go at the back if you like your skeleton the way it is!

Rattle Discomfort Tear it down!

This is definitely the worse of the two sides I think - and my word is it uncomfortable. The lap bars are digging into your stomach, the sides are pressing against you, and the entire car is rattling the entire way. Some corners are quite fast which worsens the discomfort and rattle. It’s a horrible ride experience which overshadows everything else.

Airtimes Lap Bar Masterpiece Inversions

First time I went near the front and I was disappointed, but at the back it is a completely different experience and jumps straight into my favourites of all time. The airtime is absolutely incredible, and the feeling when you get pulled over that first drop is almost indescribable - you feel like you are definitely going to fall out thanks to the brilliant lap bars. (Do be warned - if you have really really long legs or are quite big, you will NOT fit so maybe check the restrictions before you go. I saw at least 3 people unable to ride). It has incredible views of the park as you go round, and is also quite long, with relatively fast operations (if they are running two trains!). The section through the water spray is also a nice touch. An amazing experience that you should not miss. Only con I can think of is it’s maybe missing an inversion somewhere? But I don’t really think it needs it, it’s a phenomenal ride.

Airtimes Lap Bar Disappointing! Discomfort Launch

Never been more disappointed in a coaster. The launch is extremely lack-luster, it launches from a rolling start and doesn’t really accelerate fast enough to that top speed point, zapping all the intensity out of it. It also has a terrible rattle around halfway down the straight at the back. The top hat is not bad, with really great views and some decent airtime, and of course it’s fast! For me it should all be about that launch and it just does not deliver in that regard. Special mention goes to it’s operations which ruined the experience for me. Staff will not let you queue for front seat - you cannot even let other people past you while you wait for the next one. This is mind boggling and I think is there to ensure people buy their speedy passes (which allow you to go front seat for an extra charge). Was not able to see if it was better in the front when I went a second time!

Fun Layout

Perfectly fine wooden coaster. Not really that exciting, but a decent ride experience.

Fun Too short

Fun kids coaster - just extremely short! Should at least go round twice really.

Discomfort Pointless

There’s no pros about this ride. None. It’s uncomfortable, slow, boring and flings you about all over the place. Saved from a half star by the racing element which is sort of fun (not that you have any control over the ride!)

Airtimes Capacity Nice surprise! Too short

I really like this ride which surprised me. It doesn’t look much, but it’s such a unique ride experience. So much airtime and sudden drops from both sides which you can’t see coming. Quite intense too! Downsides are that it’s slightly short and seats are not that comfortable, but it’s a really good ride and a nice surprise!

Theming Location Headbanging Harness Discomfort

It’s a shame because some parts of it are quite good at the start, and the theming near the water is really photogenic. It just has the worst restraints I’ve ever used, and is quite painful from the mid section onwards. There are also two inversions in a row that are probably the worst section of any rollercoaster in the world - it’s that bad. You’ll know it when you ride it!

Location Comfort Smoothness Intensity

This is a great ride for Blackpool - so many interactions with other coasters and some decent airtime. It doesn’t rank higher as it’s just not that fast or thrilling which I prefer in my coasters. It’s super smooth and a great ride experience, but just doesn’t fully scratch that thrill itch that I have. However ICON is an INCREDIBLE night ride. The trains are lit up and the interactions with the other coasters are more noticeable. Definitely try it at night!

Fun Rattle Discomfort

It’s fun but I’ve never ridden a more rough ride (Infusion comes close!). Make sure to keep your mouth closed or you might bite your tongue off!

Location Pace Duration Rattle Discomfort

A good fast coaster with incredible views of Blackpool beach - during the illuminations the view is incredible. Lap bars also add to it by feeling like you are going to fall out at the top. Just a bit too unconfortable at certain parts now.

Fun Duration Capacity Discomfort

It’s super rough but a lot of fun - was laughing all the way round! A big minus is the capacity - they usually run only one train which takes 24 people, and it takes 6 minutes to load/unload and complete a circuit which is mad!

Quite short but enjoyable nonetheless. Chooses a strange point to end on as you pick up pace!