Coaster reviews

Fun Discomfort Pointless

I rode this once a very long time ago so you guys get the ride date as the first lockdown day. It was fun but very rough and just a bit pointless...

Fun Duration Discomfort

The tags say it all.

First Drop Too short Inversions Layout

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a bad coaster. But it is certainly the worst at Alton (excluding octonauts, ofc). The first drop is mind blowing but I feel like, despite this being a prototype, It is way to short. If you look at Galactica which is also a prototype, its layout actually has something whereas Oblivion doesn't. It could have had at least an extra airtime hill or a heartline roll but instead there was just a long break run. Could have been excellent but was just a quick-finish prototype.

Lap Bar Comfort Masterpiece Dead spots

This is not a coaster meant to be thrilling and intense, this is a coaster made to be an experience. I rate my coasters in what is actually in the layout but the theming on this gets a full 5 stars. The music and the pre-show bring the coaster to life, the staff were extremely in role when I last visited and that first drop is pretty fun too. The tunnel at the top of the lift is a bit stinky though.

Fun Ejectors Rattle

AAAAAAA. This thing is a bit like big dipper, but better. It's a bit rougher but this doesn't detract to the experience what so ever. Racing the other train is epic and you get some pretty good airtime.

Comfort Fun

This was my childhood in a coaster. I love this coaster with a passion. Yes, it isn't intense whatsoever but still. It just is and that is what makes it great. I put the date as 2015 as it was when I first rode this thing and I thought it was the most incredible thing to ever exist (I had discovered what a plane was by then too). It is comfortable and fun and I would happily wait 25 minutes for a ride on this :)

Comfort Fun Rattle

Essentially Big dipper but better. Not quite as rough and stronger airtime but overall very similar.

Inversions Fun Discomfort

Pretty fun. I like the circular loops as they provide decent forces. Does what it needs to and not much else. Seats aren't very comfortable though.

Comfort Too short

Its a wooden kiddie coaster. That's it. The seats are essentially souped up sofas and are incredibly comfortable but the thing is just so short.

Lap Bar Fun Rattle

I don't care if the layout wouldn't classify as intense, this coaster is insane. The rattle and airtime hills ties in with the one-piece lap bar to create a sensation of being thrown out of the train, and that tunnel (which I didn't know existed) pulled the train out from underneath me before the lap bar slammed into my legs and pulled my down with it. I can't believe that this thing runs smoother than a pinfari zyklon despite it being 100 years old in a few months and should stay at Blackpool for as long as possible.

Lap Bar Fun Rattle

This thing isn't much. But what it is is pure, undiluted FUN. The speed you pick up before going into the figure 8 helix thing at the end is insane and the stupidly loose lap bar that goes nowhere near your legs makes the things so much more crazy. The only thing I dislike is the constant rattle. It doesn't get any better or worse throughout, it's just kind of there. Overall a very fun coaster that should stay at BPB.

Lap Bar Fun Ejectors Launch

As my second launch coaster, I was expecting something like Rita at AT, a short but action packed layout. I got all of that and more. The first launch was actually quite weak, which is the only downside to this coaster. I like how Screwy Loops described this- A family coaster in the first half and a thrill coaster in the second half. I completely agree with that statement. The ride has almost a building intensity which adds to the experience a lot. The lap bars are very comfortable and there is so much hang time on this thing on the front row. a near perfect coaster that was a much needed addition to BPB.

Lap Bar Fun Too short Airtimes

This was my first non-kiddie coaster, not a thrill ride but not a kiddie coaster. All I can remember from the experience itself is somehow getting in to the back row (best place for a boomerang first ride) and being terrified out of my mind. The layout, now that I look back on it, was absolutely tiny. I feel like this should have been way longer as it is the only family coaster in the park. The theming is decent though and on the back this coaster is pretty fun.

First Drop Intensity Headbanging Discomfort

This was my first pinfari zyklon so going in to it I had no prior knowledge of how the coaster would run. The queue was relatively short as this was quite a small park and it moved quite quickly too. The first thing I noticed was how tight the restraints were. I'm not a big person so normally restraints aren't a problem but these were just so tight... The lift hill felt likeit was rattling itself to bits and I turned a corner that led in to the first drop. This first drop was incredible, so steep and crazy! Another corner passes and you enter the drop in to the classic -fully circular- pinfari loop. Idon't know if I was still tired as I had woken up about an hour and a half but I greyed out on it. The rest was a bit of a mess though. It was small dips and relatively un-banked turns, which slammed my head and arm in to the restraints.Overall the first half gets 3 stars and the other half gets 1.5.

Nice surprise! Fun Dead spots

Mediocre. There are clones of this all over the world. This does not mean that it is bad though. It has a pretty fun helix and that horseshoe looking thing is great fun. But the trim breaks really annoy me. I get that they are for safety reasons but still, do we really need that many?

Inversions Hangtime Rattle

Loud screaming. A lot of loud screaming. This coaster is one of those that look fine on the ground, but when ridden, oh god is it something else. The hangtime on the jojo is stupid and the inversions are sometimes whippy ,sometimes slow.But for me the rattle really kills this ride for me.

Location Smoothness Too short Intensity

A nice family coaster. I love going between the trees and the track is glass smooth. The only cons on this are that the layout is quite short, and the trim on the first break kills any intensity that the ride has.

Does what it needs to. Nothing else needs to be said.

Launch Intensity Harness Layout

Not too much to say about this. The first time I rode this I was on the front row and it was my first ever thrill coaster. The launch completely blew me away and the light rain managed to make me feel like I had just gotten at least 6 layers of skin taken off my face. As I started riding it more however the ride lost it's original flare. The launch and the first airtime moment is still as gut-busting as ever but the rest of the layout is simply meh.

Fun Masterpiece Intensity

What else can I say than literal perfection. I wish that I could put more pros on this review because of just how great this coaster is. It has the classic B&M restraints, excellent theming and never seems to have absurd queue lengths. It feels way more intense than it is (somehow it only pulls a little over 3G), has insane foot-chopper moments and the layout is truly one-of-a-kind.

Location Comfort Fun Theming Intensity

I rode this 3 times on my last trip which kind of states my opinion of the coaster already. Very re-rideable and comfortable, with a decent first drop and a good location(I love flying over and around all of the people in the queue). The only cons for me are the lack of themed elements, and the lack of intensity.