Coaster reviews

Airtimes Disappointing!

Dogshit.

Theming Launch Layout

I get that Disney prefers heavy theming & building a full experience, but this leans way too heavily into the theming aspect. They could have pulled back from that for the 2nd launch, and did it Big Bear style so that you actually get some speed, instead of stopping so an audio piece can play then accelerating slower than Copperhead Strike. Mack really needs to step up their game on their launches, just based on their ones I've ridden.

Theming Inversions Duration Rattle

This one surprised me. It is known that I am not an inversion heavy person, positive g's are not my bag. YET Smiler has won me over. The sheer mania of not really knowing where you are in the ride is just something, and that's only elevated by how compact this ride is. You don't absolutely speed through each element, so it does not feel dizzying until you actually depart. The lift hills build just the right amount of suspense and I adore the little bunny hops of airtime to break up that positive force that has been built up. It is a masterpiece in pacing when considering the record it holds - and as a result that record may take years still to break. The theming is demented, hilarious and brilliant. The only downside for me is that it currently has a noticeable clunk in to the valleys and is in need of some repainting - could benefit from some work which I expect will come soon. Unexpected winner.

Theming Masterpiece

Prefacing this with - this is meant to be a family ride, so do not expect be super intense but also... in the same vane do not expect it to be tame. The theming is literally world class, especially for any wooden coaster. The pre-show somehow works with the queuing system (and I don't even know how). The best thing about this ride is how different and great the front and back feel - most rides there is a clear winner. This one there is not. Front feels incredibly whippy, it feels unruly in speed and the laterals are insane. Whereas at the back, though there is no big drop, you get huge pops of airtime and a less lateral heavy ride. So I love the back, but my brother loves the front, and I think that's awesome. This ride, it's something else, it's deceptive, dynamic and a joy to ride. End of day rides on a warm day, are elite. An absolutely insane part of Alton's line up.

Comfort Fun Theming

Such a relaxing ride and surprisingly comfortable. The 'backwards' / on your back portion is so fun. Makes a great break from the more intense rides of the park but does desperately need retheming and some under track theming (which it currently completely lacks, so makes for an ugly visual). I gather they will retheme to fit with the Phalanx vibe, but lets hope it's sooner rather than later! This is not the ride I would remove from the park, as I think it serves a niche in the country and the park - so I do hope it stays, as it is a perfectly fine and reliable thing.

First Drop Too short

Right. This is a real one trick pony. Being the first B&M dive coaster it is a bit of a novelty, and the sheer ridiculous nature of building the drop in to the ground is so sick. The drop is good, the best at the park (not that there's any competition) and it does it well. I wish they could hold the pause longer, even by 1-2s. The ejector from the drop is pleasant and the fact it even goes underground into darkness and the mist does up the intensity. It is very solid, but not much to it and that's okay.

Launch Harness Discomfort

Honestly, this ride is nearing the end of its life. The launch is punchy, and only shadows to stealth. However, it is rough and rickety so everything after the launch is rendered distracted forcelessness as a result. You manage some floater airtime on route but lord. This thing needs to go, replace it with something less painful. Because honestly, the layout does not warrant a renovation. The theming does not tie in well, and the fact they haven't upped the theming is maybe a good thing for us rita non-enjoyers.

First Drop Nice surprise! Fun Too short

I desperately wish the trim on the drop was not there because even with it, the drop rivals most at the park. The layout to the shed is a bit meandering, and should be longer with more elements but it is a pleasant ride. The best part is that drop track, really funny and then the backwards snaking is fab. The humourously fast drive back in to the station is great too :') Theming is great, and it is a very strong ride, that I wish they just let it be less trimmed and made the changes to the trains to allow it - but alas.

Fun Capacity

It is not the best maurer spinner in the country, Dragon's Fury has that title, but it is still solid. Could use better blending in to the surrounding themed areas - sticks out so much, and has done for several years. Best ridden unbalanced as always but a good bit of fun.

Location Masterpiece Duration

'Choo Choo'. I love this ride, and for the most part I love it because the ops clearly have the time of their life running this one. It's pot luck how many cycles you get, if it's quiet and the last ride of the day - good luck you'll be there till sundown. Great interactions with the rapids, wonderful vantage points and neat theming. Just enjoyable, not thrilling but it ain't meant to be. What flying fish wishes it was.