Coaster reviews

First Drop Rattle Discomfort Layout

I don't really know where to stand with The Big One. It has height, speed, an incredible first drop and a great soundtrack, making for a really enjoyable ride if you get a smooth seat. In the wrong seat, however, it is bumpier than most of the park's wooden coasters and gives one of the most unpleasant rides in the country. On average, it's just fine; definitely try to get on the back car.

Nice surprise! Launch Rattle Layout

Steeplechase is quite a weird family coaster for many reasons. The trains are quite comfortable, but the ride has a fairly consistent rattle, making some of the turns feel quite bizarre. For a family coaster, it has a pretty forceful launch followed by a really intense turn, but the rest of the ride is quite repetitive and forceless.

Duration Headbanging Harness Disappointing!

I honestly don't know how people enjoy this ride. The theming is fine, the area has a decent atmosphere and everything looks great for its age, but the god-awful Vekoma trains make the entire ride a rattly, uncomfortable mess. More painful than Infusion and never worth a 60+ minute queue.

Nice surprise! Fun Ejectors Rattle Discomfort

I expected to hate Thunderbolt after doing Saw, and my first ride on an outer seat left me with a headache - as expected. Later, however, I tried an inside seat and absolutely loved it. This ride gets way too much hate! It has a definite rattle which makes the second and third inversions very uncomfortable, but the restraints aren't as brutal as people say, the first and last inversions are fun and the layout has an abundance of strong airtime. As long as you know how to ride properly by holding on and leaning forwards, this one might surprise you!

Airtimes Comfort Layout Launch

Icon is absolutely incredible and definitely one of the best rides in the UK. After three rides, I definitely preferred the back row over the others, providing incredible airtime and hangtime throughout the layout. Other than the launches, the layout is perfectly designed, weaving in and out of various classic rides at the Pleasure Beach, with highlights including the top-hat, heartline roll and the glorious airtime hill in the middle of the second half.

Theming Comfort Smoothness Intensity

Accelerator is a decent little coaster and a good ride concept, let down by a lack of any force and the loss of the old Ben 10 theming. The trains are good, the ride is completely smooth and it has some pretty decent height to it, but feels a bit bland and forgettable compared to the likes of Thirteen.

Airtimes Launch Fun Rattle Too short

Short but very sweet! Stealth is a fantastic ride despite its length, packing a great punch with its height, speed and intense launch. Recently, it has developed a pretty uncomfortable rattle towards the back, so aim for a front row ride for the best experience.

Harness Discomfort Tear it down!

I was definitely expecting this to be worse. It's still awful, easily one of the worst rides I've done, but the inner right seat is probably better than the average SLC.

Fun Masterpiece Intensity Airtimes

Great ride and an absolute icon of the industry. With the recent re-tracks, it runs as smoothly as a modern GCI with some brutal moments of lateral G-force. On the day I visited I only managed to get on rows 1 and 2, so I probably missed out on a lot of the renowned ejector airtime, but it is still an absolute masterpiece 92 years on.

First Drop Theming Smoothness Too short

At the moment, Swarm is my favourite ride at Thorpe Park and my #1 coaster. It probably isn't the best wing coaster out there and it is frustratingly short, but the sense of speed, hangtime and the absolute size of this lad make for an excellent ride. The atmosphere in the plaza is great too, with some decent theming and great headchoppers. For me, the best row is the front for the views, speed and near-misses, but the back is good if you want to experience any force at all.