Coaster reviews

Inversions Fun Harness

overall, its an ok ride. not a fan of the restraints and i had a bit of headbanging but other than that it ran pretty smoothly compared to all the bad talk its been given in terms of smoothness. not the best ride at the park, not the worst. a solid 6.5/10 for me

Fun Intensity

I'm going to be honest here, I can't truly tell you all too much about this ride. When I rode this I was GP and I really don't have a good memory of the layout whatsoever. But what I can tell you is that I had a really fun time on this ride, and it's one of the highest on my list of coasters I want to re-ride.

Launch Intensity

Stealth has a killer launch and not much else. Its good fun going up that tophat but the star of the ride is really that launch. It gives such a gutpunch when you're launching, and still after a good few rides on it that launch is always a banger. I've given it a 4 stars for what it is, since while its not exactly the longest or most complex layout in the world, that launch is just amazing.

First Drop Fun Too short

Of course oblivion is too short, but that's almost the point. Right off the bat you know what you're there for if you're riding oblivion - the drop. That's all there is, that and an overbank. All in all, oblivion is good fun for what it is, and for that, I've given it a 3.5 stars

Comfort Fun Smoothness Dead spots

I've listed Galactica as a 3.5 stars as, while a great ride, I don't think its exactly for a coaster enthusiast. The ride isn't intense, it doesn't any positive, negative, or lateral G-forces. It doesn't go all too fast. It's just pure, almost calming, fun. If you're looking for a thrill, galactica isn't for you, so if you can only get on so many rides at alton, aim for the bigger ones like Nemesis or The Smiler first. But if you're just looking for a fun ride with an alright layout, that isnt too intense, then you're sure to enjoy Galactica.

Nice surprise! Fun Capacity

Overall a fun ride. Certainly the best spinner I've been on (though that'll obviously change whenever i go to plopsaland)

Location Pace Disappointing! Layout

Vampire's nothing special really. Just a small little family coaster. I mean, what do you expect, it's chessington

Airtimes Lap Bar Launch Layout

Rita is just alright. Nothing much else to say really. Nice launch, some good moments of floater, but that's all tbh. Still an ok ride, but nothing too special.

Theming Fun Intensity

Nemesis is an absolutely world class ride, and certainly the best B&M invert out there. It's packed with G-forces, whippy inversions and transitions, and overall an amazing layout. It's getting re-tracked soon and while I wish it would be open when i go in March of next year, I'm extremely glad that it's getting the love and attention that it deserves.

Inversions Ejectors Duration Rattle Headbanging

World's most inversions on a coaster! The smiler's a great addition to alton's lineup, and possibly the second best at the park (just behind nemesis). The inversions are great, though at times can feel a bit samey, almost feeling like its just dive loop after dive loop in certain parts. I dont suggest riding back row if at all possible. While the common consensus with us coaster enthusiasts being that the back row usually leads to a better ride experience, here it really isnt the case. The back row is extremely rough, especially going into that cobra roll the roughness can just feel like a little too much. The restraints arent too bad, though lap bars would certainly eliminate the headbanging. But all that aside, if you can get a 1st or 2nd row ride on the smiler, it truly is a blast. If you're wishing to get by the queues faster, a good thing to note is that the smiler has a single rider queue, so if you don't mind splitting up with your party or don't mind which seat you're in, i highly suggest it.

Capacity Smoothness Layout Too short Harness

This monday i went to thorpe park with my dad. Had a great ride and in the last hour or so i decided to go on the swarm, and the queue was absolutely EMPTY! So long story short i spent my last hour of the day doing laps of this ride, and got a good 16 runs in. But obviously that's not what you're here for, so lets get into the ride itself. My main cons with the ride were the vest restraints and the ride duration, the vest restraints dug into my collarbone a lot of the time which caused a bit of discomfort, but it wasn't anything too bad. The ride feels almost laughably short, which is quite sad as it has an amazing layout, I simply wish there was more of it, which speaks well for the layout itself. The ride is smooth as butter, which is great especially as its a wing coaster. The smoothness almost makes you feel as if you're flying through the air, which is great. The ride starts off with a slow dive loop going into a nice head-chopper with the plane wing, and then transitioning into a nice zero-g roll. You then go in through the billboard giving another great head chopper. The ride then goes into a banked turn and into a half helix and up into another zero-g roll. You then pull up and into this amazing inline twist and into a sort of unnecessary mid-course brake-run. The ride then goes into another half helix and then into the brake run. Overall a spectacular ride and definitely my favourite at the park, though I do wish it were longer!

First Drop Nice surprise! Duration Headbanging Harness

When i went to thorpe yesterday i decided to start my day off with saw as last time i'd been it was the only major ride i hadnt been on. Long story short, i ended up spending nearly the whole day doing cycles of saw through the single rider queue, all in all i got 33 runs on it. As someone who's ridden it 33 times in a row, i think i can say with certainty that the current restraints are extremely bad. throughout that first indoor section, they actually arent too bad. however, after that first drop, they really just get worse and worse. Especially at the end your head is bouncing between the restraint like a pinball. Going through that dive loop and into the turn is the worst part of the ride. Luckily though, I heard from a member of the staff that it's going to be getting lap bars sometime in the near future, the ones on rush to be exact. of course, i dont know the legitimacy of that as i myself am not apart of the staff, but i truly hope that's true as that would certainly bump it up to being my favourite ride at the park (my current favourite being the swarm). Now, onto the pros so that i can actually explain why i rated it a 4/5 stars. That first indoors part is an amazing pre-lift. The initial indoor drop is great, and i love that slow heartline roll that could almost be classed as a jojo roll? but not quite. i quite like the vertical lift hill, nothing spectacular of course since, well, its just a lift-hill after all, but i always like a good vertical lift hill. The drop after the lift is amazing, quite possibly the best part of the ride, with a positive G packed pullout into the immelman which gives pretty nice hangtime. It then follows it up with a nice tight overbank into a pretty great moment of ejector before pulling up and into the mid-course. you then enter an extremely tight drop which is always a blast and then enter into a dive loop, then entering another nice overbank and going into the break run. Overall it's a great ride. I myself havent ridden any other eurofighters so i cant say how it stacks up with the others, but what i can say for certain is that it's a great ride with a pretty intense layout, and overall is a great addition to the thorpe park lineup