Coaster reviews

First Drop Inversions Too short Theming

I was surprised with this coaster. Controversially better than SAW as this one was glossy smooth and the inversions were better. Despite this, the track length is actually less than Oblivion. (1,187ft — 1,222ft). So it’s a great ride for its length and very underrated, but no theming.

Theming Smoothness Layout Too short Capacity

When I went here in 2022, I rode this 10 times and rode 42 rides over the whole park in 7 hours. The theming on this is one of the best in the UK. For a family coaster, this packs a punch. The overbank and s bend are really forceful however it only ran one train and the ride time is quite short. Very underrated.

Inversions Intensity Duration Capacity Harness

This ride seems to be hated on too much, but I can see why. I feel like since 2022 this ride has gotten a lot smoother even in the non retrack bits, but please REDO THE GODDAM TRAINS. Most inversions hit and it’s a forceful layout. Get new trains.

Airtimes Theming Headbanging

I feel like my opinion has changed about this ride. Previously I disliked it for being rough and thought it to be the worst of the thrill coasters at Thorpe park, but this year has shown the brighter side of this ride. SAW is decently smooth with good theming around the area, with Easter eggs scattered around. The indoor section is good and has a few punchy elements. Decent ride.

Airtimes First Drop Pace Too short

This ride is CRAZY. The first drop is world class and the elements all hit so well. The pace on this ride is insane, and it is very rerideable depending on where you sit. Best coaster in the UK and the best coaster I’ve ridden (I’ve ridden 70)

Airtimes Launch Fun Too short

Not being able to go to America, Red Force is just amazing. The launch is still punchy with LSMs and the top hat is flawless. That 367ft drop feels like forever. And to top it off, a night right on this is out of this world.

Fun

I’m sorry but WHY IS AN OVAL SO GOOD?!

Bootiful

Location Fun

You can’t fault this family coaster, the location is great and I’m definitely on team legend. Capacity is surprisingly good and the view over duplo valley is great. However, it is only a family coaster and the zierer trains aren’t great.

Location Fun

You can’t fault this family coaster, the location is great and I’m definitely on team legend. Capacity is surprisingly good and the view over duplo valley is great. However, it is only a family coaster and the zierer trains aren’t great.

Childhood Trauma.

Airtimes Too short Discomfort

This ride has a surprising amount of airtime, but the ride is over too soon and can be a bit rough.

Location Layout Too short

This ride roars its way through the layout, but it seemed to have finished in a flash.

Nice surprise! Location

Your average good kids coaster.

Theming Discomfort

This kids coaster felt really janky, which is surprising because this was made in 2022. Although what makes up for it is its immense theming.

Fun

It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that I’ve not ridden this in 7 years and forgot almost everything about it.

Capacity Fun

I don’t know why, but when I first looked at a POV for this thing, I said that it’s good to ride it after lunch, hence getting the name: THE AFTER LUNCH ROLLERCOASTER. AND WHEN I WENT TO ADVENTURE ISLAND I DID JUST THAT. I rode it after dinner too.

Pace Fun Layout Capacity Dead spots

This is a good family coaster with a fun layout. The theming is alright but the ride only runs one train. As for the layout the drop and turns are decent but the highlight is the helix at the end. Good family coaster.

Location Capacity Discomfort Pointless

An abomination of a ride. Nice view though.

Location Ejectors Duration Capacity Pointless

This ride is so weird. The trains are hideous and the coaster does 5 laps. The layout isn’t much, a helix and an air time hill, but that air time hill is AMAZING. The highlight of the ride is being underground.

Duration Discomfort Tear it down!

I used to love this ride when I went when I was 8, but when I went last year it was awful. Don’t ride this.

Theming Masterpiece Intensity Reliability

What a ride. Wardley really outdid himself. The original nemesis was an extremely solid ride beforehand, but nemesis reborn seemed to have topped it, being the 2nd best at Alton Towers. Theming is insane, the ride is intense and fast, however it broke down 4 times in my visit.

Duration Discomfort Tear it down!

I used to love this ride when I went when I was 8, but when I went last year it was awful. Don’t ride this.

Duration Discomfort Tear it down!

I used to love this ride when I went when I was 8, but when I went last year it was awful. Don’t ride this.

Airtimes Comfort Capacity

I feel like I’m the only person who thinks that this is the best woodie at Blackpool. It delivers air time consistently and the trains are like sofas. And it’s also my favourite colour.

Masterpiece Capacity

Kids.

Theming Location Capacity

This is a great kid-family coaster, mainly because of the theme that carries it. There are some very good interactions with the rapids beneath. The tunnel section is really intense and a night ride on it is very underrated.

Pace Capacity Discomfort

I don’t have much to say. This ride is kind of trash, especially the last few times I’ve ridden it. I’m ordering a Mack extreme spin in replacement.

First Drop Capacity Lap Bar Dead spots Intensity

For being one of the weaker coasters at Alton Towers, it proves how solid of a lineup they have. Th13teen is a lot tamer than nemesis or smiler and the first elements just meander through the forest. The first drop and drop track are very good though. Oh and I can’t forget the ending launch to infinite mph.

Airtimes Theming Rattle

THE 40,000TH REVIEW OF CAPTAIN COASTER. WHAT BETTER TO DO IT WITH RATTLESNAKE. The ride is good I put rattle for fun hahaha.