Coaster reviews

Harness

Flying Fish isn't bad. It's a good fun family coaster with a figure of eight layout, and it achieves the goal it sets out for itself; an entertaining attraction for younger guests, but obviously it pales in comparison to the rest of Thorpe's lineup (except the walking dead, that thing is crap). It can be a bit rough in places (especially some transitions that give a ridiculous lateral spike), and has some quality clearance fails with supports and track (44 total per lap). Flying Fish has a hidden quality, though... the best thing BY FAR about this ride, is the awesome noise the ratchet restraints make when they come down. So satisfying.

Nice surprise! Pace Fun Rattle

It's a rare coaster and that automatically gives it some cool points. I personally found it to be a good fun ride once I worked out how to set up the restraint properly without squashing anything important on the bike seat style knobstopper - Tip: crouch a tiny bit and stand up fully when the restraint is locked. Your shoulders will then likely be touching the top of the harness, but it's better than resting your bodyweight on your balls (ladies, ride this how you like, I can't help you there). Given the age of the ride, a rattle is understandable but to me, the unique standing experience is a reason I enjoy this ride a lot, and the layout is pretty good too. It's fast and isn't as uncomfortable as others may say it is.

Comfort Fun Capacity

Nick streak has the comfiest seats on the planet. They're literally sofas. Capacity is by far the biggest letdown as they can only run one train due to the ancient ride system. The hills give a good tickle of what could be airtime, and it's a smoother experience if you sit on a non-wheel seat. It's not bad but it's not anything to rave about. I suppose 'classic' is the word to describe it (even with the bright orange colour...)

Pace Smoothness Ejectors Harness

I'll get the negative point out of the way first. RMC shin-guards are a spectacularly wank design choice, and would be unnecessary if the trains were designed a little better. For a tall rider like myself, they force you to sit in an uncomfortable position and they dig in to your shins due to the hard material. The lap bar itself is really comfy, I really like that, but the shin-guards have no wiggle room for comfortable rides. Anyway, moving on to the ride layout, it's nutty! It has a ridiculous amount of insane, sustained ejector and some fantastic inversions. The only thing it is lacking in terms of layout is a good amount of positive force, but then again RMC isn't exactly known for positives! I honestly can't put the ride experience in to words, it's just so ridiculous; I have heard that it has the pacing and intensity of Steel Vengeance, especially in the second half, and I'd be inclined to agree based on POV's of SteVe. The final roll is also an interesting choice, as it gives some good hangtime, however the shin-guards then have a lot of your weight pressing against them, so personally I would have preferred a traditional RMC roll (though now I'm just nitpicking). It's a fantastic ride overall, but it has some minor flaws that stop it from getting the full 5 stars.

Launch Intensity Ejectors Dead spots

What a nutty ride, especially once it's sped up in the evening of Wintertraum. Taron has fantastic trains with fantastic seats and restraints, fantastic launches and a fantastic themed area surrounding it. I went in with low expectations as it looks to just be 'S-Bends: The Ride', but it's safe to say that I was very wrong to think that. Whilst the layout is still pretty bland on paper, each transition rides differently due to the raised heartline and track shaping. Sometimes you'll be ejected from your seat vertically or laterally, sometimes you'll be folded entirely sideways, and sometimes you'll get all of it at once! The ride is stupid intense. A fantastic mix of positives, negatives and powerful launches. The theme and near-miss elements certainly increase the thrill of the experience, racing through the medieval village of Klugheim, and it's the kind of ride you will immediately want to do again. There are, however, a couple of dead spots on the ride that don't match up to the rest of the layout; a banked turn before the S-bends leading in to the second launch, and the turn before the final airtime hill. I feel that had these been ironed out then it would deserve a full 5 stars.

Airtimes Masterpiece Duration

Helix... What a ride! It has almost everything an enthusiast could ask for. fantastic airtime, great views, awesome music, great variation in the elements and forces, and to top it off, it's really smooth too! The front row (left seat) is by far the best place to sit on this ride, as you are so exposed and can see everything coming. It's truly a masterclass in layout design, using the terrain to its advantage and creating one of the most unique experiences of a coaster to date. There isn't a single section of wasted track, there are no dead spots and the launches are used well to maintain the speed and pace of the ride. They may not be the most intense, but they're still great fun as they're not necessarily the traditional use of a launch; In Helix's case, they are there to maintain the pace of the ride instead of give it the starting boost like most other launches. Night rides on this are in a completely different league, however, and well worth waiting for. Personally I was disappointed with the ride to start with, however upon re-rides later in the day, I came to the conclusion that this ride needs time to warm up before it is running at the speed to make it my #1 coaster, and that, to me, is the only flaw that Helix has.

Theming Inversions Duration Rattle

If I was told that I had to sit and watch a ride all day, I would 100% pick The Smiler. There's really nothing like approaching the ride and seeing the twisted mess of black track and supports, and then for two bright yellow trains to crest the lifts and duel in perfect synchronisation whilst the catchy and sinister music plays as you enter the queue. It has to be considered as a whole package, as the area and queue is absolutely part of the experience. I'm not normally a fan of cattle-pen queue lines, however The Smiler has so much to watch while you wait; fantastic self-duelling and ridiculous themeing elements like the 'marmaliser' in the centre of the ride and the indoor queue section is great (when it works properly). Getting on to the ride itself, it's a fun, long ride with fantastic forces and even some surprise airtime in each half. It was designed to pack in a ridiculous number of inversions and it has certainly achieved that goal very well, though I can see that it may not be everyone's cup of tea as even I get a little dizzy at the end of the first half of the ride! Admittedly, it can also be bit bumpy in places (the exit of the cobra roll springs to mind) but I've mostly had smooth rides so it's not enough to take away from the overall experience of the attraction. A front row night ride is also a phenomenal experience, as the area is only lit by the screens of the 'marmaliser'. It was this experience that NEARLY pushed this above Nemesis in my rankings, so I highly recommend making a trip to Towers during Scarefest to try it out and see what all the fuss is about!

Pace Masterpiece Layout

Nemesis is worthy of it's legendary status. It's got a creative, terrain hugging and intense layout, especially when it's sped up towards the end of the day, and it gives FANTASTIC front row night rides during Scarefest. I love this machine. It's the uniqueness of Nemesis' layout that gives it such a good place in my rankings. The vast majority of B&M inverts have a pretty similar layout, usually starting with a drop into a vertical loop, followed by a zero-g roll and some corkscrews, with a fancy turnaround thrown in if you're lucky (examples include Black Mamba, Nemesis Inferno and the Batman clones) however Nemesis shakes up the element sequence to make for a far more interesting experience, especially when combined with the unique terrain interaction unlike any other coaster in the world (at least that I can think of). It builds and maintains speed throughout the layout, and whilst it may no longer be the best ride in the UK (hello Icon) or 'the world's most intense ride experience' (hello i305... probably... I haven't ridden it yet) it is still the best ride at Towers.

Nice surprise! Intensity Smoothness Capacity

'Smoothness' and 'Vekoma SLC' aren't usually phrases you would find in the same sentence and are often considered a juxtaposition, but Kumali was smooth, intense and has a fun layout with only one slightly janky spot near the end in the finale helix. It really surprised me, as my expectations were extremely low for this ride based on the reputation that other SLC's had in my books; Infusion and Odyssey were shite, and were the only two SLC's I had ridden prior to Kumali (however my opinion of Infusion has since changed). I was extremely apprehensive about whether Vekoma could achieve a smooth zero-g roll, but they pulled it off perfectly and it's the best element of the ride! The only downside was single train operation, which I could see being quite a pain in the ass in busier months as there was no sign of a second train. In short, Kumali was a pleasant surprise and is potentially the most re-rideable coaster at Flamingoland.

Launch Pace Intensity Rattle

First of all, the positives absolutely outweigh the negatives. Baco has a powerful hydraulic launch followed by a terrain hugging and unique layout which gives a tremendous sense of speed. The ride isn't too short as it leaves you wanting more without subjecting you to too much at one time. Yes, it has a bit of a rattle if you don't sit in the front row but I can look past that with ease, as it's still the best hydraulic launch coaster I've done! The bizarre theme is just the icing on the cake; it's so outlandish and so very Spanish, I love it! I hate to break it to you, but if you dismiss Baco because it's got a bit of extra character, then you don't know what a good coaster really is. To be honest, any discomfort could easily be fixed by a restraint overhaul - give it the soft Intamin vests and people will stop whining about the ride so much. Ultimately, it's like kinky sex. It can be rough and give you some bruises, but still kinda fun when you sit back and enjoy the ride.

Airtimes Lap Bar Layout Launch

A fantastic ride for the UK. Great airtime and force variation, plus really comfy seats and restraints (also has a track-tap clearance fail which is fantastic fun as you traverse the roll). The layout is spectacularly weaved around some of the Pleasure Beach's other rides and attractions, and the operations are usually pretty good as well. My only negative point is that the launches aren't the strongest, but it's to be expected from a Mack, however the rest of the layout absolutely makes up for it and I can 100% justify it being my #1 coaster in the UK by a country mile!