Coaster reviews

Location Too short Discomfort Pointless

This ride is just pointless, literally does nothing at all other than rattle around. Really short ride as well. Think they'd have been better off with a standard wild mouse!

Location Pointless

Easily the most boring Mack powered coaster I've done. Lovely location but absolutely nothing to the layout whatsoever

Theming Fun Too short

It's a short ride, but really quite enjoyable. Some nice space theming, and the first part is really dark so it takes you by surprise. Nice sense of speed even if it's actually really slow. Decent fun

Nice surprise! Fun Intensity

Really was expecting to hate my first ZacSpin, but I really quite enjoyed Kirnu. Didn't find it too uncomfortable at all, and it actually runs pretty smooth. It's very short but it's an intense experience, and you get a pretty good dose of ejector at the end as it flips you round. Bit of a sleeper hit for me!

Fun Hangtime Rattle Harness

What a bizarre ride Ukko is. The best bit by far is the lift and the hangtime at the top, that's very odd but good fun. Then it obviously just does its roll and drops you back down, so very short but quite snappy. The lap bar isn't comfortable though, and it does have a bit of a judder. The sort of ride that's fun cos it's weird rather than cos it's good

Fun Smoothness Capacity

Very smooth, very enjoyable Maurer spinner. Its not a wild one, the spinning is pretty tame, but it's a fun layout with some nice moments, and it interacts wonderfully with some of the parks other rides. Capacity obviously isn't great with the small cars but they were dispatching it well

Location Fun Dead spots

This one's all about the history, I love these old wooden coasters, and the fact that it's retained its brakeman really retains all of that. The actual coaster is fun, rather bland and little airtime apart from the second double down and hill which slap for absolutely no reason. Found it a little over-braked, particularly compared to the wild ride you get on Tivoli Gardens' old woodie. But it's a classic and I always enjoy a classic!

Airtimes Pace Masterpiece

My 100th coaster! And wow, what an incredible ride it is too. Taiga is absolutely in the elite echelons, this layout is just spectacular. First launch is nice and snappy, straight into the first inversion which is super floaty at the front, and a bit more whippy at the back. The following turns are taken at great speed and are nice and intense, had a little bit of grey out on those later in the day. Then we get to possibly the best sequence of elements I've experienced on a coaster. The second launch is awesome, straight into the top hat. Great airtime on the front up into it, and on the drop down at the back. Next is the stall, just wow, amazing pacing, whips you into it and then you hang, feels longer than it looks for sure. You then drop into a crazy speed hill that dumps you out of your seat, before the awesome immellmann. The ride then has some nice whippy turns, a couple of real snaps that throw you around, before a taron esque s-bend which then drops hard to the left, absolutely awesome moment. The last roll is really fun as well, and then you fly into the brakes! Taiga is relentless in its excellence, no bad moments at all in this layout. Front row is probably my preference but I do love the back as well. I did notice the red train had a bit of a vibration, the orange train was glossy smooth though and it didn't detract from the ride. They're gorgeous trains too, love the detail and the lighting. Super comfy of course being Intamins new gen ones. Just an incredible ride, super rerideable, and very deserving of all the accolades it gets

First Drop Layout Duration Capacity

Sometimes you have a lap round on a ride and something just works out to elevate it to elite standards. Well the spin that I experienced on Dragons Fury exceeded anything I've ever felt on a conventional spinning coaster. It seems to be that if it's just 2 of you in a car, and you ascend the lift facing backwards, it just flings you round down the drop, and then doesn't stop around the entire layout. Absolutely mental. Also does help if the 2 people in question are on the heavy side! Even without accidental beast mode though, it's an excellent ride with a really good layout, very much underappreciated I think, and certainly the best spinning coaster in the country. The capacity does suck though so I'd recommend an off peak weekday to stack up on rides!

Airtimes Layout Duration Dead spots

I wasn't really expecting as much from Abyssus as what I got, this is an awesome ride. Super long, loads of great transitions, plenty of airtime moments - the standout being the hill before passing under the station into the batwing, that launches you good - and 2 really decent launches, the second one has some nice force to it. I've put dead spots as a negative but really it's just one dead spot, the big ol' trim on the top hat does kill that element unfortunately, but everything else really feels well thought out and very enjoyable. Its not mega forceful, but it certainly has some moments. Overall though, a really great fun coaster and one that I definitely enjoyed way more than i expected that I would, super comfortable as well with the excellent lap bars and vest. A proper sleeper hit

First Drop Lap Bar Pace Rattle

Talk about presence. The area around Energylandia is pretty flat, so you can see Hyperion from miles around. It's also visible when flying into Krakow airport which is very cool. Its just massive and with it being the first thing you see of the park, it gets you so hyped to ride. And boy does it live up to that hype. You ascend the lift super fast, then get flung over that first drop. On the back it's seriously insane ejector, and the front is seriously insane hangtime. The best first drop I've ever experienced for sure. The following hill delivers great airtime, before the awesome dive loop turnaround that really whips you through. From there there's more airtime, a mix of floater and serious ejector, and lots of low down intense turns, which is amazing for the speed, it's paced really well and you fly into the brakes. The final hill before the splashdown is a great end as well, proper ejector on that. The front row is incredible but my afternoon ride on the back was right up there as one of my best ever coaster rides. The outer wing seats do have a pretty strong bounce to them, fortunately the trains are super comfortable so it's not a killer, but I do prefer the inside seats for a comfortable ride. It also has a really stupid queue line. But this is one elite ride, and thanks to Zadra's dire trains, its my favourite on park too

Fun Rattle Discomfort

Standard large Tivoli model. They're usually fun rides with the mammoth train meaning you take he elements at very odd speeds, but this one is really janky and uncomfortable unfortunately

First Drop Fun Smoothness

This baby GCI really shows that you don't need lots of height and speed to have a great time on a coaster. Typical of any GCI, it uses the speed it does have to deliver a fun and enthralling ride experience on a layout with several moments of nice floaty airtime and some snappy whips side to side. The first drop is decently steep and has some nice pull at the back, even though the trains are only 6 cars long. Would love to see how it would ride with 8 car trains. Id say the back is the best on it but front row is very fun as well. The entire ride is also wonderfully smooth, still a little wooden coaster jostling but so enjoyable, Polpsaland do a great job with the maintenance clearly. Heidi fits excellently into the parks lineup and is overall a fantastic family woodie which I always enjoy getting a good few rides on when I visit the park.

Launch Intensity Layout Rattle

Anubis is a super underrated coaster, this thing is excellent with a really snappy launch which takes you properly by surprise every time. It shoots you off into a fairly short but really fun layout with some excellent moments of airtime on the top hats and several great sections of intensity. For a Gerstlauer that is getting on a bit now, it runs pretty smooth, the back row can be a bit brutal in a few places but the front is much better, and the middle is really smooth, very enjoyable. An excellent coaster, and don't sleep on it when you come to plopsaland!

Masterpiece Layout Ejectors Rattle

Every time I come over to Plopsaland on the Eurotunnel, I wonder if Ride to Happiness will live up to the rides I had previously. And every time, it blows me away. Never before has a ride been so perfect as some of the rides that this coaster gives me. Every single element is just incredible, every hill throws you out of your seat, every inversion throws you around or ejects you down towards the ground. 3 of my favourite inversions of all time are on here, the Jojo roll, the zero g roll, and the ridiculous double twist dive loop. The final run of airtime hills are insane as well, full on ejector every single time. Its mega rerideable as well, thanks to the spinning, you'll have a ride which is elite, but then you'll have a ride where you hit every single element in the perfect way, and it just ascends into the throne of heaven. Then you've got the amazing theming, the incredible on ride soundtrack, and the trains which are so gorgeous and intricate, and have by far the best lap bars in the world, with the auto-lowering meaning you can never be stapled on this ride, they're supremely comfortable. One thing I did notice that has developed rather quickly since my last rides, is a rattle, the valleys and the overbank turn before the final airtime hills really bounce about, it wasn't ever this bad so hopefully it's just a bad set of wheels and they can get it back to how it was. But that doesn't stop the Ride to Happiness being one of the greatest works of art in the world of theme parks, and hats off to Plopsaland and Mack Rides for delivering it with such disdainful perfection

Fun

Somehow I managed to avoid riding a wacky worm until my 99th credit. To be fair, it was alright, not rough, not hideously uncomfortable trains, and some interesting theming. Probably the best of the tiny Energylandia creds

Airtimes First Drop Pace Discomfort Lap Bar

Never have I experienced a ride that is so absolutely elite, so relentlessly fast, so whippy, such an amazing first drop, that is so severely spoilt by just one thing - those horrible restraints. This won't be an issue for most riders but I am very tall and fairly broad, and those shin guards just smash into my legs at every opportunity. The lap bar itself is bad as well, it's like a breeze block sat on your lap. I can only imagine how uncomfortable the more airtime-focussed RMCs are for someone like me. Also a mention for the brakes, which are crazy sharp, that train flies into them and it stops you like you've hit a wall. Be prepared for it! All that being said, Zadra is a crazy good coaster in terms of everything else. It's utterly insane how fast you traverse the course, its pacing like nothing else, the speed is by far the biggest highlight. Although that would be closely followed by the 200ft vertical drop, into an unbanked speed pop that curves slightly right, just insane, ridiculous airtime. Then there's that stall, it's just the perfect speed, you have no hangtime at all, you're just floating there being pushed forward by the train, it's amazing. The wave turn is serious ejector once its warmed up, then the big floater hill breaks things up really well. After that, the 2 last inversions are fantastic, the double down throws you around like a ragdoll, then you slam into those aforementioned brakes. Despite the pain from the restraints, which for me personally means quite the fall from grace, only an insane person wouldn't appreciate all the many many things that Zadra does really well, and if the restraints don't bother you, I wouldn't begrudge anyone who says this is the best Europe has to offer

Airtimes Inversions Smoothness Too short Launch

The first new age Vekoma thrill coaster really doesn't disappoint, this is a short, sharp little ride that packs some great punch! Unfortunately the launch isn't much to write home about, was less snappy than I was expecting, but it shoots you off into a great layout with some snappy turns and transitions, good airtime pops, and one particular corkscrew which hit far harder than I was expecting, it was awesome. It probably is a touch short but it's super fun, super smooth and very enjoyable!

Nice surprise! Fun Smoothness

This was a proper sleeper hit at Energylandia, it's great! Super smooth, some good whip on the first drop, some great intensity and decent length too. Really an excellent family coaster, don't underestimate the Dragon!

Fun Smoothness

This boomerang layout is great, good length, some fun moments and good whip. The spike is great on the front too

Pace Smoothness Too short

The shorter Boomerang layout, but it's whippy and takes the turns with good speed. Good fun

Intensity Rattle Harness Discomfort

Is it better than a standard SLC? Yeah, but not by much. Bangs you around like mad, and those restraints come down seriously hard. Certainly still a bottom tier coaster

Fun Smoothness Too short

Another fun Vekoma family coaster, smooth, comfortable trains, but it is on the short side

Fun Smoothness

A standard big Vekoma family coaster, nice and smooth, 2 lap special, what's not to like

Discomfort Tear it down!

Is it the worst coaster in the world? I don't think so, its not even the worst coaster at Energylandia. Does it still suck? Yes is absolutely does

Discomfort

One of the worst of Energylandia's crappie kids coasters, the lap bar is like a log, tiny trains, janky, and it's criminal that its next to Zadra

Nice surprise! Smoothness Too short

A very short Vekoma family coaster, but super smooth and with some decent intensity! A hint of airtime at the back of the train too. Good fun!

Smoothness Pointless

Is it a coaster? Hmm, barely, but it is very smooth

Fun Discomfort

Some decent spinning to be fair, very tight trains though so not a comfy one

Theming Rattle Discomfort

Some fun theming around the ride but it's janky as hell, quite baffling how such a small ride can be so rough