Coaster reviews

Location Fun Duration

I should preface this review by saying my one and only ride was at 12 am in row 17, so I think I've only experienced this coaster at its best. My night ride on The Beast is one of my favorite coaster experiences ever. That journey in the woods is unlike anything else I've ridden, and the pitch blackness of that cold October night only enhanced the fun. That seemingly pitiful 18 degree drop turned out to be one of the coolest elements I've ever felt on a wooden coaster—It does truly feel more like a launch than a drop, and slamming into that enclosed helix is pure bliss. Sometimes what makes a good coaster can't be quantified in its forces or airtime, and The Beast is a perfect example of that. 9.5/10 - this is my favorite backyard coaster

Airtimes First Drop Layout

Diamondback is far and away the best B&M hyper I've had the privilege of riding. This layout is an absolute floater buffet that doesn't have a single dull moment. The first drop feels more like a giga than most other B&Ms under 300ft, and the 5-second hill that follows is immaculate. Even the turnaround manages to be far more interesting than its contemporaries featuring a hammerhead turn, floater hill, AND a helix. The splashdown also has to be mentioned, of course, as it's one of the most cinematic finales of any coaster out there. My first ride on this coaster in 2023 was rather disappointing, but my back row and night rides really redeemed this one. 9.5/10 - this is easily the third best coaster themed to a reptile I've ridden

Airtimes First Drop Layout

Orion is a wonderful coaster with incredible forces and a varied layout that is doomed to live in the shadow of its older sister. Though the ride may lack an element or two, the ones it has are incredible and possess some of the strongest airtime of any giga coaster. As with every coaster of this scale the drop is incredible, and arguably the best on any giga. I just wish that there were a few more moments that let you feel the sheer speed. Other than the speed hill and the pull-out from the floater hill, the train is often too busy slowing down to let you feel the 91mph wind in your face. I also appreciate the attempts at theming here, but I wish the park was willing to honor it as much as they do with Mystic Timbers; it's pretty immersion-breaking when Dasani ads are blaring in your ear while you are trying to learn about Project X. 10/10 - this ride went down so many goddamn times on my last trip SPECIFICALLY while I was in line; I'm convinced it's personal

Airtimes Pace Smoothness

It is genuinely baffling both how well this ride keeps its speed and how smooth it's managed to stay. This coaster has the best pacing of any woodie I've ridden and some solid airtime pops early on. The shed is also a very cute little way to end the ride—bopping your head along to "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" with a friend is just silly fun. This might be a controversial opinion, but I think Thunderhead at Dollywood actually has much stronger ejectors, so that ride remains my favorite GCI. Also, weirdly enough, it seems like the airtime on this one actually hits harder in the middle of the train, which is something I haven't seen before. 9.5/10 - why did the ride op on Racer tell me not to go in the shed did he know where he was

Launch Fun Discomfort

A decent layout with a crazy good helix right at the beginning. The two launches are good, but nothing special. The indoor section is actually my favorite part, but the dive under the queue afterwards is pretty rough on the neck. I wish the theming elements were in better condition, but there was at least a tiny little fire on my last ride. 6.5/10 - my mother slammed her back into the seat during the launch so hard she broke the hook on her bra

Airtimes First Drop Location Rattle

Though I never had a chance to ride it before the Gravity Group re-track, I'm certain this is the best this ride has ever run. The first drop and the fan turn are great, but the highlights are the couple little airtime hills sprinkled throughout. The turnaround after the first drop is a rather large dead spot, though. Although the finale is still quite rough, the rest of the ride runs so smoothly and has such good airtime that it's pretty easy to look past. 8/10 - did anyone tell the designers that you're supposed to *exit* through the gift shop?

Fun Duration

For whatever reason, I found the South side of this coaster to have substantially better airtime than the North, though I suppose I didn't have a chance to ride both on this trip. I was also lucky enough to get a racing ride this time, which will always make a coaster better in my eyes. Overall, this is a very fun and classic racing PTC woodie. 7/10 - I really liked how the operators finished each others sentences during the dispatch spiel, I thought that was an adorable touch

Airtimes Fun

Just a good, classic, racing woodie. The lap bars on PTC trains mean there's often a lot of room for airtime, though to be honest there isn't a ton here to speak of; Kings Island's racer is a lot stronger when it comes to airtime. I'm not a huge fan of the laterals on the turnaround, but they aren't uncomfortable. 6/10 - the other side was the first "big kid" coaster I ever did so thanks Dad

Fun Layout Rattle

This ride was a bit disappointing on my reride a year after my first. It feels like it runs a lot rougher now, and it really is true there is barely any airtime. I still love the dueling moments, but I can't say it was quite as good as the last time I rode. 7.5/10 - it feels weird that one side is called lightning when that's literally just the name of the ride

Inversions Layout Duration

Medusa is one of the best B&M floorless coasters I've ridden. It isn't nearly as intense as some of its peers, but the layout has a fantastic duration and a bunch of really fun and varied inversions. I'm not exactly sure how to describe this feeling, but it almost felt like the pull-outs of nearly every inversion had a small pop of airtime, which is something I haven't experienced on this model before. I thought this would be one of the lower-tier floorless coasters but I'm happy I assumed incorrectly! 8/10 - shoutout to the operators who, on one train ops, took 30 minutes to clean up vomit

Inversions Intensity Discomfort Dead spots

I think I might have finally given up on most B&M flyers being anything other than pretty good. The pretzel loop, as always, is awesome, and the in-line twist and the end is neat. The rest of the layout is just pretty boring and the restraints and ride position are incredibly uncomfortable. 7.5/10 - I wasted $9 on a one-shot Flash Pass for this since it ended up being a walk-on by the time I used it

Capacity Discomfort

I guess I can safely say I really hate Free Spins now. I don't understand the appeal of this ride model. Inversions are not fun when you can't brace for them and just get your head slammed into the seatback over and over again. Also, why does this thing run four trains? In my entire 30 minute wait for this ride there was not one cycle where having even a third train saved any time. 3.5/10 - the most enjoyable part of the ride was the high pitched white noise emitted from the broken TV in the queue that made my head want to explode

First Drop Theming Fun Dead spots

This ride has pretty cute theming in the queue and outdoors, especially for a Six Flags park. It might be a hot take, but the first drop on this ride is the second best in the park. There's an absurd yank in the back row that is honestly comparable to some of the best drops out there. Granted, it's incredibly short so that airtime doesn't last very long. The rest of the layout isn't anything special, and just a bunch of family coaster meandering. It's worth a ride if the wait is like 20 minutes or less. 6/10 - why do they play Mr. Saxobeat in there

Airtimes Nice surprise! Location

This is easily the best mine train I've been on so far. The first half is about as fun as any other mine train, just much taller than normal, which is a neat touch. The majority of the layout isn't particularly special, but if you ride in the back row there is a pretty crazy hill at the end of the ride that can absolutely send you. If you have the time I definitely recommend giving this one a ride, it surprised me! 5.5/10 - it's very cool that there are two coasters with audible upstops right next to each other

Launch Intensity Rattle

Kingda Ka, at least for me, was an incredibly unique and transcendent experience; it's very hard to put into words the experience of being launched at 128 miles per hour and 456 feet into the air. It's nearly impossible to comprehend what is happening as you rise to the highest point on a roller coaster in the world at absurd speeds before plummeting back down to earth. Riding in the front row is an absolute necessity on this ride; feeling your face be almost ripped apart by the sheer speed of the ride is wild. I will say, riding in the back row does feel a bit like being inside of a blender. It doesn't completely ruin the experience, but it certainly isn't the most comfortable place to ride. Unrelated to the coaster itself, I love the bamboo-surrounded queue. I really felt transported to another location in a way that no other regional amusement park has achieved. Kingda Ka is a coaster icon for good reason, and I heavily encourage getting out to Great Adventure to experience this monstrosity because its days are likely numbered. 9.5/10 - how did we let New Jersey get such an important world record come on

Capacity Lap Bar Ejectors

Phoenix is unlike any other roller coaster I have ever ridden. I have never felt compelled to hold onto handlebars for my own safety, but this ride sincerely scared the crap out of me. I don't think you've really experienced the true meaning of airtime until you ride Phoenix. When people say that these hills feature "standing airtime' they aren't lying; if you keep your feet planted to the bottom of the car it feels like you are going to fly out of the ride, and if you let them rise up with you then your knees will slam into the buzz bar. It is a marvel that this ride continues to operate with the restraints--or lack thereof--it has today. On top of that absurd ride experience, the operations on this ride are the fastest I've ever seen. A slow cycle here is anything over 30 seconds and they frequently hit dispatches in the low 20s. I sincerely hope that Knoebels never touches the restraints on this legend; I'm sure the ride would still be great, but the buzz bars make this ride the icon it is today. 10/10 - there is something beautiful about how everyone screams in the pre-lift tunnel; it's a truly freeing and joyful experience

First Drop Nice surprise! Pace

I fully expected Twister to live in Phoenix's shadow, but this is one of the best wooden coasters I've ridden. It has an incredibly unique and bizarre layout, featuring what has to be the only "mid-lift" I've ever seen. The first drop was surprisingly strong in the back row, and the rest of the layout kept its speed beautifully well while having some powerful laterals and nice positive Gs. Definitely make sure to get a ride or two on this coaster; while it isn't the best in this park it is still great. 8/10 - why aren't there any air gates do they realize Americans come to this park

Inversions Hangtime Capacity

Impulse, despite being the first thrill coaster by Zierer I've ridden, didn't feel very unique at all. It's a compact multi-looper, which is something that compliments Knoebels' lineup well, but it really isn't all that great. The inversions aren't taken fast enough for intensity to come through, but the profiling is interesting so you can still kind of appreciate them. The last roll has really nice hangtime, though, which is easily the highlight of the ride. Obviously the capacity is awful. Impulse is the first ride you see when you enter the park and it's only capable of 8 riders per train, and for some reason the day I went they were sending one train empty every time despite having people in queue. 7/10 - I feel like a ride called Impulse should have a launch but hey what do I know

Fun Capacity

This ride is just a really fun time. It's an incredibly unique experience, and riding along the trough knowing that the trains aren't held to any rails is honestly a little unnerving. There aren't really any forces, but feeling the sleds whip from side to side is cool and silly and worth experiencing once. Of course, the capacity is awful. The trains hold 6 riders at most and 3 most of the time, so expect to wait a while for this one-of-a-kind coaster. 5.5/10 - why does this ride weigh people and then force them into pens what is happening here

Theming Duration Dead spots

It's not much of a coaster, but Black Diamond is a really good dark ride for Knoebels to have. The theming is quite exceptional for the park, and the ride is surprisingly long. The two drops are incredibly trimmed and forceless, but it doesn't really matter; if you want airtime just go a couple hundred feet to the left. 4.5/10 - I only got scared once and it wasn't even a jumpscare, it was just some random spinning wall effect that I didn't notice until it was right next to me

Location Fun Duration

I wish more kiddies were like this. There are some genuinely fun forces here, especially laterals, and the three laps you take are a nice treat. The final bunny hops might not give airtime per se, but they have a silly yank to them I quite like. It's also really neat that the ride is plopped right on top of the canal for the boat ride; I don't think most parks would allow for something like that, but I guess Knoebels really isn't most parks. 4/10 - I have never seen so many lost hats in the infield of a kiddie coaster

Duration

Cocoa Cruiser certainly is a kiddie coaster! The fact that is does three laps is nice and the laterals are kind of fun, but the ride is really nothing special. 3/10 - I'm glad the op on the train seemed to enjoy his job; he was making a lot of jokes for the kids and that made me smile

Lap Bar Pointless

It's not the worst Wild Mouse I've ever ridden, but it's still a waste of space. The restraints are more comfortable than the clone at Carowinds and the dispatches are a lot quicker due to the constantly moving station, but it's still not a very good ride. 3.5/10 - there were two weird boys trying to instigate an argument with the ops when I dispatched but they were gone by the time I got back; no clue what was going on there

Inversions Intensity

As far as B&M inverts go, Talon is pretty good. It's towards the lower half of the inverts I've experienced, but that doesn't make it bad at all. The inversions are whippy and forceful as always, but not quite as much as some of the better rides of this model. I do love the helix towards the end; it's a very unique maneuver for an invert to perform and I found it very intense. 8/10 - I would give so many of my mortal possessions to introduce single rider queues to coasters like this; I wasted too much time of my life waiting for this ride when every train had like three empty seats

Location Pace Fun Disappointing!

Steel Force is a weird ride, but one that I found quite fun. I think the strongest aspect of this layout is the sense of speed it carries throughout, especially through the helix. The rides location overlooking Dorney is very cool as well, and I love how close it gets to Hydra. I'm going to be completely honest: I don't know where the airtime on this ride is supposed to be. Pretty much every hill gave incredibly weak floater and nothing stronger. I rode in the front, I rode in the back, I rode in row three and nothing made it stronger. It's not a bad ride by any means, but I found it to be pretty disappointing for hyper coaster. 8/10 - more like Steel Forceless, am I right? Am I right? Am I right? *gunshots*

Inversions Intensity Hangtime

In a park full of 8/10 rides, Hydra is definitely the best 8/10. This funky floorless has some really unique inversions compared to others of its model, all of which I found to be intense and fun. There are a couple nice pops of airtime throughout the course to, including a rare straight-drop. The location on the side of a hill is also pretty neat, and not something you see very often. But the star moment is, of course, the jojo roll. Though it's less fun than Copperhead's due to the over-the-shoulder restraints, it's still one of the best inversions in the world, and I'm sad that this never started a trend of their incorporation into more layouts. 8/10 - it's actually hilarious that a ride named Hydra replaced a ride named Hercules

Launch Fun Pointless

Possessed was my first impulse and I was rather perplexed by the model. The launches are quite fun and the twisted spike is very cool near the front, but I just don't really understand why this model exists. What is it exactly trying to achieve? It's not particularly intense, there isn't any airtime, all-in-all it's just weird. It's not bad by any means, it's just odd and feels more like a flat ride to me than a roller coaster. 7/10 - I'll complain about it here instead of under another coaster but why does Dorney have so many push gates instead of air gates in their stations? I have literally never seen that before

First Drop Inversions Intensity Discomfort

Iron Menace is a very unique dive coaster compared to the others I've ridden. While the first drop is, of course, great, I think the 4 intense inversions after it are just as fun. The inclined loop is surprisingly whippy and the zero-G roll is very fun. I love the theming present throughout the queue and the lift hill. Though it certainly isn't the best out there, I have a unique love for the charming little stories that Cedar Fair likes to tell with rides like Twisted Timbers, Mystic Timbers, Copperhead Strike, and this new coaster here. It is truly bizarre the weird shaky moments this ride has, however. In the front it isn't too noticeable, but the back row is surprisingly uncomfortable. The pull-out of the first drop is rather rough, but the oddest moment is definitely the unbanking into the brake run which jolts the entire train in a way I've never seen before. Despite those odd moments, Iron Menace is still a great new coaster for a park that desperately needed to be thrown a bone. 8/10 - it was a uniquely fun experience meeting Uncle Nate in queue and having him chat my ear off throughout the whole ride; he was very nice and I will never forget it

First Drop Fun Rattle

Thunderhawk runs pretty well for being a hundred years old. There isn't a whole lot to this layout; if there was airtime anywhere other than the first drop I couldn't tell due to how hard the lap bar came down during the ride. It's pretty rough in the very back, but that's to be expected. 6/10 - I love meeting other enthusiasts once you're already on the ride; I ended up yapping with the guy sitting in front of me up the entire lift hill while his friend sitting beside me laughed at us

Airtimes Pace Fun

I am not kidding when I say that Oscar's Wacky Taxi is an insanely good roller coaster. For a while I thought the obsession with this thing was a joke, but it is actually the best family roller coaster I have ever ridden. In the back row this thing gives stellar airtime, including a couple moments of quite strong ejector. The ride may be short but it is jam-packed with expertly profiled elements that are comfortable for young ones and thrilling for people who are deranged about roller coasters like me. This area also has some very cute theming, especially in the first section of the queue. I can't exactly recommend going out to Sesame Place given how exorbitant the price of admission is, but if you are committed to riding Wacky Taxi I really can't blame you. 8/10 - my friend who is deathly afraid of coasters wanted to ride this one with me and we got a fantastic on-ride photo of her holding on for dear life that she keeps framed on her dresser