Reviews • Drive Safely

On paper, Abyssus looks like a great ride. It’s long, smooth, packed with airtime and positives, has good launches, and is comfortable. All that being...

On paper, Abyssus looks like a great ride. It’s long, smooth, packed with airtime and positives, has good launches, and is comfortable. All that being said, there was something off about Abyssus as well as Formula in a way. The banking and transitions are taken in a way that they’re almost too perfect, if that makes sense. You’re being swung side to side without any real lateral force or power and in a way, it feels like you’re riding a horizon leveled POV. I may sound like I’m crazy, and objectively there’s not much wrong with Abyssus, but that’s something major I noticed about this ride as well as Formula.

Swarm has all the makings of an elite wing: a hangtime-filled wingover drop, elements that give great positives and whip, and a fantastic theme. But i...

Swarm has all the makings of an elite wing: a hangtime-filled wingover drop, elements that give great positives and whip, and a fantastic theme. But it’s short, has a very harsh rattle, and the elements simply don’t pop as much as they do on other rides of the same model. I wasn’t really a fan.

What Stealth does, it does very well. The launch is unbelievable and the pull into the top hat is an incredibly underrated moment of positives that ha...

What Stealth does, it does very well. The launch is unbelievable and the pull into the top hat is an incredibly underrated moment of positives that had me greying out every single time. It’s short and I’m not a fan of the OSTRs, but there’s no denying that Stealth is fantastic.

With shocking amount of forces for a ride of its size, Saw packs in some extreme moments of airtime and positives, especially when the midcourse doesn...

With shocking amount of forces for a ride of its size, Saw packs in some extreme moments of airtime and positives, especially when the midcourse doesn’t hit. That being said, the trackwork on this one is flat-out bad and a nasty rattle brings this ride’s rating down quite a bit for me.

The best ride in the park. Wicker Man hauls from the first drop to the final brakes, delivering the rapid-fire elements that GCI is known for. The lay...

The best ride in the park. Wicker Man hauls from the first drop to the final brakes, delivering the rapid-fire elements that GCI is known for. The layout’s a blend of quick airtime pops and turns that throw you from side to side and, combined with the creepy theming, makes this ride place up there as one of my favorite woodies.

Th13teen could have been so much better. If the outdoor section wasn’t trimmed and there was a bit after the backwards section (maybe a few turns afte...

Th13teen could have been so much better. If the outdoor section wasn’t trimmed and there was a bit after the backwards section (maybe a few turns after the launch), this ride could be a great family ride.

While Oblivion’s inferior to other dives with its short layout and lack of elements despite the drop, it’s still a good ride and one I’d always like a...

While Oblivion’s inferior to other dives with its short layout and lack of elements despite the drop, it’s still a good ride and one I’d always like a ride on.

Galactica’s a really fun ride that doesn’t do anything too special. You can definitely tell it’s the prototype of a specific model, but it’s still sol...

Galactica’s a really fun ride that doesn’t do anything too special. You can definitely tell it’s the prototype of a specific model, but it’s still solid and a good experience.

HOLY. SHIT. Ride to Happiness is the craziest, greatest, and most otherworldly thing I’ve ever experienced. There is nothing that I’ve been on tha...

HOLY. SHIT. Ride to Happiness is the craziest, greatest, and most otherworldly thing I’ve ever experienced. There is nothing that I’ve been on that can compare to the absolute insanity that is this ride. The layout is amazing on its own, but once you add spinning to it, it becomes unbelievable. There’s airtime, hangtime, positives - everything, and it’s all done so well. The ejector (-1.7 gs!!!) is unreal and after 19 rides, my thighs were completely bruised despite the comfortable Mack restraints. The jojo roll gives incredible hangtime and the double inverting dive loop is pure mayhem. The airtime hills are stronger than lots of RMCs and when you take them sideways or backwards, it enhances the experience that much more. The valleys are intense; overall this ride is an absolute beast. I can see how it’d be too much for some people, I’d occasionally have to take breaks because marathoning it was too physically exhausting, but the result is a one of a kind experience unlike anything that’s ever happened to me. Taiga might be objectively perfect, but there is NOTHING that can even come close to the psychotic nature of Ride to Happiness. (except maybe Eejanaika, but let’s ignore that)

Heidi’s a very fun small-scale woodie that might not be the most extreme, but still packs in a great ride. It’s much smoother than its counterpart in ...

Heidi’s a very fun small-scale woodie that might not be the most extreme, but still packs in a great ride. It’s much smoother than its counterpart in Orlando and still flies through the layout, even if it doesn’t offer too much in the way of forces. That being said, Heidi is really enjoyable and I always came off with a smile on my face.

Anubis is a really good ride that’s now been completely overshadowed with RTH in the same park. Much like Lynet at Fårup Sommerland, Anubis starts out...

Anubis is a really good ride that’s now been completely overshadowed with RTH in the same park. Much like Lynet at Fårup Sommerland, Anubis starts out with a punchy launch into a top hat, followed by some inversions and turns. I prefer this ride for one main reason: the forces. While the restraints are annoying and there’s a noticeable rattle in certain spots, Anubis features moments of extreme positive and negative gs. The pull up into the top hat is a sharp but crazy moment of ejector (-1.3 gs in the front row) and lots of the valleys are really intense (4.3 gs). The ride does meander a bit in the middle, but the forces are always there, and Anubis ends very well with a hangtime filled roll into the brakes.

Joris was a tale of two very different rides for me. Vuur was disappointing (as noted in my review), but Water, which I rode in the front much later i...

Joris was a tale of two very different rides for me. Vuur was disappointing (as noted in my review), but Water, which I rode in the front much later in the day, delivered what I had expected and more. It’s paced very well, flying through quick airtime hills that didn’t exactly send me flying up out of my seat, but were very good nonetheless, and some fantastic moments of laterals. The cushioned Millennium Flyers absorb the blow and I was left tossed around the train through maneuver after maneuver, which resulted in a great experience. I don’t know what happened with Vuur, but the Water side of Joris was awesome.

Joris was a tale of two very different rides for me. On one hand, you had Vuur, which I rode in the morning towards the back, which I thought was poor...

Joris was a tale of two very different rides for me. On one hand, you had Vuur, which I rode in the morning towards the back, which I thought was poorly paced and not very forceful, and on the other, you had Water, which was the opposite. Vuur did not deliver at all for me. Maybe this ride needed a bit to warm up, but I found the pacing, airtime, and laterals much weaker than I was expecting. It was by no means a bad ride, just one that disappointed me.

Baron’s my favorite ride at Efteling and one of the best dive machines I’ve been on. The theming’s great, like everyone points out, but I think what t...

Baron’s my favorite ride at Efteling and one of the best dive machines I’ve been on. The theming’s great, like everyone points out, but I think what this ride really does well is the execution of its elements. Despite being less than 100 feet tall, the drop gives great floater airtime, and the two inversions are whippy. The finale leaves a bit to be desired, but overall, Baron 1898 surprised me as a very good attraction.

Pulsar is a surprisingly good ride. The launches are actually powerful, especially going backwards over the hill, and the spikes give great weightless...

Pulsar is a surprisingly good ride. The launches are actually powerful, especially going backwards over the hill, and the spikes give great weightlessness. Sure, it may not be one of the best rides out there, but overall Pulsar does what it’s supposed to do and is a great fit for the park.

Kondaa is new-generation Intamin at its finest. The layout is wonderful, delivering tons of strong ejector airtime and lots of surprising laterals as ...

Kondaa is new-generation Intamin at its finest. The layout is wonderful, delivering tons of strong ejector airtime and lots of surprising laterals as well. The beginning is the highlight, with the drop, camelback, and outerbank all giving fantastic airtime. The rest of the layout keeps up the pace with more strong forces and definitely cements Kondaa as one of the best rides in Europe.

Troy is a ride that’s relentless from start to finish. It has fantastic pacing, flying through its elements with lots of airtime and laterals. It’s go...

Troy is a ride that’s relentless from start to finish. It has fantastic pacing, flying through its elements with lots of airtime and laterals. It’s got a bit of a shuffle to it, but ultimately Troy is a complete blitz of forces in a very good way.

Fenix is, simply put, great. It’s got some wonderful theming in the queue, surrounding area, and even some on-ride. Despite its short length, the layo...

Fenix is, simply put, great. It’s got some wonderful theming in the queue, surrounding area, and even some on-ride. Despite its short length, the layout delivers some awesome inversions and intense moments, especially with the helix. It’s a perfect fit for the park and is a very good ride overall.

Dwervelwind is another attraction at Toverland that was really surprising. The layout is unexpectedly good with some moments of positives, and is over...

Dwervelwind is another attraction at Toverland that was really surprising. The layout is unexpectedly good with some moments of positives, and is overall a good ride.

Booster Bike really surprised me. The seating position is really unique and you take some of the elements like you’re on a flyer. It’s got a good laun...

Booster Bike really surprised me. The seating position is really unique and you take some of the elements like you’re on a flyer. It’s got a good launch, some nice airtime and intense moments, and is overall a very solid ride.

Everything leading up to the layout is very good, from the theming in the queue to the launch. Unfortunately, the ride itself is very bland and, aside...

Everything leading up to the layout is very good, from the theming in the queue to the launch. Unfortunately, the ride itself is very bland and, aside from the first two inversions, is a mediocre lump of steel.

It’s an okay ride; I was pleasantly surprised due to the model’s reputation. The theming and onboard audio add a lot to the ride, but ultimately it’s ...

It’s an okay ride; I was pleasantly surprised due to the model’s reputation. The theming and onboard audio add a lot to the ride, but ultimately it’s just okay.