Coaster reviews

Theming Location Intensity Too short

One of my all-time faves. Yes, it’s super short and it does only one thing - but boy does it do it well! Surprisingly intense drop, incredible noise when you enter the hole, it looks great off-ride and you get superb views of Alton Towers at the top, with time to take it in! An absolute classic dive coaster. Love the theming too. UPDATE: After doing this a few more times, I am getting frustrated with how short it is… Bringing it down to 4.5 therefore

Inversions Location Intensity Dead spots

An absolute bona-fide classic. Alton Towers’ unique height restricitions caused this to be built below ground level and it’s all the better for it. With the iconic roar, theming, and great name it’s a real work of art, and a fantastic ride experience too! Maintains great speed and flings you round without resorting to too much head banging. Slight dead spot at the end but apart from that it’s a must ride! I hope it doesn’t lose too much of it’s character in the retrack! UPDATE: Retrack has made it faster imo if anything and retheme is fantastic! I also probably prefer the new one to the original now!

Dead spots

A perfectly fine kids coaster, maybe a bit too tame in parts and the only real thrill is off the first drop which is finished too soon. Got a little too dizzy on the last helix!

Fun Capacity Harness

A unique ride with awful operations, but it’s a fun one to do for the history of it and to watch the brake person. Trains are nice enough but the seatbelt is painful - you actually need it surprisingly!

Location Comfort Smoothness Intensity

This is a great ride for Blackpool - so many interactions with other coasters and some decent airtime. It doesn’t rank higher as it’s just not as fast or thrilling as it could be. It’s super smooth and a great ride experience, but just doesn’t fully scratch that thrill itch that I have. However ICON is an INCREDIBLE night ride. The trains are lit up and the interactions with the other coasters are more noticeable. Definitely try it at night! Update: Enso is insane and well worth the *ridiculous* price. But once you open the box you’ll never want to go back to riding it standard!

Airtimes Discomfort

Much better than the left side, and some ok airtimes throughout.

Airtimes First Drop Hangtime Discomfort

One that absolutely lives up to the hype! It is an airtime monster, and rivals Shambhala for the sheer amount of sustained airtime moments. Some of the elements are incredibly unique and fantastically realized. I know there are complaints about the theming, but I don’t think it needs strong theming. At least it’s not over a car park like Hyperion. Station and surrounding area is put together very well, and the score is brilliant (probably one of the best I’ve ever heard), blaring out around the queue. Photo points could be a little better (Shambhala springs to mind as a good example of a hyper that’s closer to non-riders) and the seats are a little uncomfortable after all the throwing around (Taron has more comfy seats and has a similar ragdoll effect), but these are minor gripes. At the end of the day, we finally have a lap bar ride at Thorpe Park! And it is awesome! Dethrones Stealth in the UK for me, but it absolutely deserves it!!!

Airtimes Theming Pace Capacity Dead spots

How does a family coaster with such a low top speed feel so damn fast? Astonishing how fast this thing feels when you look at the stats, and it has triumphant theming, with a atmospheric pre-show and incredible, fitting music in the queue lines. Super long queues which detract from the experience a bit but this is really really good! *Update* It’s quicker than it appears at points, but as you ride this more often you start to notice that low speed more and more. There are some better and faster woodies across Europe, so downgrading rating slightly. *Update 2* This ride is completely different when warmed up and in the dark. Back row was astonishing - you have no idea where you are going and it flings you round relentelessly! Not enough for a rating upgrade but fully reccomend a dark ride!

Theming Intensity Discomfort

If there was a prize for ambition, this would win for me hands down. So so many inversions, but for me it’s just too intense because of that. I never really come off thinking ‘That was great!’. It’s more ‘uh that was rough, my head hurts…’. It has some great thrills packed in and some wacky theming, but a little too intense for me, even though I love intensity! *Update* I think the ride experience varies so much based on weather, time of day, how you are feeling etc. I have had some bad rides on this, but also some really good ones! Front seat makes a huge difference I think in terms of comfort too. Upgrading rating slightly. *Update 2* Also an absolute monster in the dark. The last two rides I have had on this have been brilliant. If I get more good rides in, may bump to a 9, but 8 for now.

Launch Pace Intensity

Massive expectations going in, and it did not disappoint! This is an awesome experience - I think launch coasters and theming are my jam generally so this ride is a match made in heaven for me. It’s super quick, flies round the track like there’s no tomorrow, and at a few points it tries to throw you out too! Highlights are definitely the second launch into the mountain climb, I was laughing like a maniac! Views are incredible, and while the front seat is great for this, I think you get great views anywhere on the train as there’s a lot of climbs and descents into near misses. Operations on this thing are rapid which helps with the queues. Minor negative is that there’s a lack of airtime, and it could maybe do with one inversion, but it’s so quick that it could have made the ride too intense. Klugheim looks amazing in both the day and the night too. So so good!

Theming Location Smoothness Launch

A wonderful ride, and an absolute must at night. Rookburgh is truly stunning and you get the best seat in the house on FLY. It maintains its speed well via the launches (a minor negative is that sometimes it felt a bit janky on the back as the speed transitions were not that smooth), and there’s a good mix of elements throughout. Not sure flying coasters are for me as I find them a bit uncomfortable restraints wise, but this is a great experience nonetheless!

Theming Too short Discomfort Layout

I did not get on well with this ride at all which really surprised me. I probably need to go on the front to reassess but I had a torrid time on the third row. This is a strange coaster as it’s not particularly visible in the park, and this translates into the ride experience - you cannot see where you are going at all. Into out of tunnels, whipping round blind corners, the whole thing is discombobulating. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but as it’s very intense I just got dizzy and nauseous fast. Thankfully it’s over quickly, but I don’t get the high placement for this one.

Nice surprise! Too short

Slightly more intense than Force so I preferred it, but not much in it.

Nice surprise! Intensity

There’s not much between this and Fear for me, in that there’s not much here to get too excited about. There are some fun surprise elements inside which I found interesting, but once you’ve done it on one ride it’s repeated similarly on the other and the surprise is gone. Good fun, but expected a bit more from these rides.

Fun Intensity Harness

This ride is fast and intense - and don’t be deceived by it’s harmless looking exterior! Theming is top notch as well. It’s just bonkers, has no right to be as quick as it is. Big minus for those very loose lap bars however, unfortunately you have to hold on (otherwise you’ll squish the person next to you) which diminishes the pops of airtime that are dotted about.

Fun

I quite liked this for some reason! There were 2 goes round (maybe that’s not normal?), and the Klugheim theming adds a lot to this, you can see Taron a few times. It feels quite quick too. Only gripe is one of the backwards turns made me nauseous (twice!) but a minor niggle.

Fun Discomfort

The VR is actually quite good for the most part (although is quite restrcitive in field of view terms - if you turn your head too much you are greeted with just pale blue ice). Didn’t really understand what was happening in terms of the story though. Also found it a little nauseating after a while and was looking forward to it being over! Ride itself is fun if unspectacular.

Tear it down! Dead spots

Forgot viking, this is the worst ride here. Does absolutely nothing and then ends. Waste of everyone’s time!

Theming Nice surprise! Intensity

It’s not particularly exciting at the start and the surprise is gimmicky and not interesting for repeat rides. After the surprise it doesn’t feel too quick either which is strange! Superb theming again though, a specialty for Alton Towers!

Fun Discomfort

I’m going against the grain on this one - I think the discomfort on this is massively exaggerated, and the ride itself is sort of hilarious. Maybe I sat in the right seat? For me, there’s way more uncomfortable rides than this one!

Much better than Frida, but doesn’t offer too much more than your average kids coaster.

Inversions Rattle Discomfort

This one reminds me of Infusion at Blackpool - has some potential but is just so uncomfortable that you’d never consider a re-ride. Love the colour of it, but just not worth the discomfort.

Pace Fun

Slightly bizzare name that doesn’t match the theming (I get it’s a boomerang coaster, but call it Dracula/Bat or something?) but for some reason I really enjoyed this! I thought the pace was miles better than Light Explorers, and the theming as you whizz through the abandoned house was interesting and exciting. Surprisingly quick too!

Dead spots Intensity

Of the two boomerang coasters here, this is comfortably the worst! The first half is ok, but the backwards section is worse than mediocre. It’s so incredibly slow and uninteresting.

Location Dead spots

An incredibly unique ride, but apart from being a water hybrid and that first drop, it doesn’t offer too much. Offers some awesome views of the park, and the lift is fascinating (if quite scary!), but could do with some more elements and excitement.

First Drop Fun Dead spots

I liked this a lot more than I was expecting, and the speed on the first and second drop really catches you by surprise! Could do with a bit more elements as it loses momentum a bit later on, but a very solid family coaster.

Launch Too short

Decent launches and inversions, but it is ridiculously, laughably short. Queued longer for this than Zadra, you might as well re-ride that instead!

Launch Smoothness Layout Dead spots

This was a really good ride, and while there were a few dead spots, I think I need to re ride later in the day next time to give it a second chance. Good theming, really long ride time and some good launches, coupled with the smoothness make this a great experience!

Airtimes Pace Theming

This is so close to a 10 as the ride experience is fantastic, but the track theming is awful (parking lot coaster) so unfortunately it loses a point for that. Great airtimes, smooth inversions (if a little rattle on the outside seats) and intense speed make this a great ride. Just add some obstacles or something!!!

Pace Fun Masterpiece

My expectations were super high for this ride, and it surpassed them by absolute miles! This is an incredible coaster, with no dead spots whatsoever. It throws you around with such incredible speed, and doesn’t let up at any point! It’s also relatively comfortable, and has some awesome inversions and air time. The supports surround you on some but are also removed on others to give breathtaking views at points. An outstanding piece of engineering and design, and I’m counting down the days until I can get back on it again! Note: This is one of those coasters that is much better later in the day too once it’s warmed up.