Coaster reviews

Intensity Rattle Harness Discomfort

Is it better than a standard SLC? Yeah, but not by much. Bangs you around like mad, and those restraints come down seriously hard. Certainly still a bottom tier coaster

Fun Smoothness Too short

Another fun Vekoma family coaster, smooth, comfortable trains, but it is on the short side

Fun Smoothness

A standard big Vekoma family coaster, nice and smooth, 2 lap special, what's not to like

Discomfort Tear it down!

Is it the worst coaster in the world? I don't think so, its not even the worst coaster at Energylandia. Does it still suck? Yes is absolutely does

Discomfort

One of the worst of Energylandia's crappie kids coasters, the lap bar is like a log, tiny trains, janky, and it's criminal that its next to Zadra

Nice surprise! Smoothness Too short

A very short Vekoma family coaster, but super smooth and with some decent intensity! A hint of airtime at the back of the train too. Good fun!

Smoothness Pointless

Is it a coaster? Hmm, barely, but it is very smooth

Fun Discomfort

Some decent spinning to be fair, very tight trains though so not a comfy one

Theming Rattle Discomfort

Some fun theming around the ride but it's janky as hell, quite baffling how such a small ride can be so rough

Nice surprise! Smoothness Layout Discomfort

An excellent mine train this, great layout, nice and long, decently intense in various places, and a smattering of airtime to boot. Suffers as most Vekoma mine trains do from the seats being very short, they don't make it far up your back which can cause some discomfort for tall riders. But overall a really nice ride and a good fit at the park

Location Harness Discomfort Tear it down!

Don't think anyone's surprised now that an SLC is the rollercoaster equivalent of a vindaloo poo. It hurts, it sucks, terrible transitions, it will bruise your face as it batters you around. I guess it does look nice though, but as with it's big, boring, painful red neighbour, i'd happily see it collapse away into the Irish sea

Fun Discomfort

For a kids coaster, this little woodie is very fun, short layout but a decent bit of speed, and a hint of air at the back of the train. Wasn't rough either which is of course important for a small ride like this. Trains are tiny so not the most comfortable credit for an adult.

Fun Discomfort

In reality, steeplechase is terrible, offers nothing in terms of ride experience, and it's certainly not comfortable, instantaneous brakes at the end and whilst it's not rattly or rough, the transitions are very poor and slam you around. Seems to be particularly painful for the ladies as well, I didn't find it awful but some of the girls in the group were very much one n done. Despite the obvious flaws, I always have a hilarious time riding it, particularly if you have a riding buddy, and no one can deny that the fact it's still operating, as the only classic Steeplechase model left in the world, is really nice to see

Fun Discomfort

In reality, steeplechase is terrible, offers nothing in terms of ride experience, and it's certainly not comfortable, instantaneous brakes at the end and whilst it's not rattly or rough, the transitions are very poor and slam you around. Seems to be particularly painful for the ladies as well, I didn't find it awful but some of the girls in the group were very much one n done. Despite the obvious flaws, I always have a hilarious time riding it, particularly if you have a riding buddy, and no one can deny that the fact it's still operating, as the only classic Steeplechase model left in the world, is really nice to see

Fun Discomfort

In reality, steeplechase is terrible, offers nothing in terms of ride experience, and it's certainly not comfortable, instantaneous brakes at the end and whilst it's not rattly or rough, the transitions are very poor and slam you around. Seems to be particularly painful for the ladies as well, I didn't find it awful but some of the girls in the group were very much one n done. Despite the obvious flaws, I always have a hilarious time riding it, particularly if you have a riding buddy, and no one can deny that the fact it's still operating, as the only classic Steeplechase model left in the world, is really nice to see

Airtimes Nice surprise! Fun Rattle Capacity

Of the Blackpool woodies, Nick Streak is by a distance the most enjoyable, it's not as extreme as the Nash but still offers some airtime towards the back of the train, some laterals, and crucially, isn't anywhere near as rough. It's not smooth of course, this is Blackpool, but certainly not so rough that you can't enjoy it. Best to ride first thing though, only one train on this one so the queue can build up!

First Drop Ejectors Discomfort Lap Bar

The key thing for the Nash is whether the excellent layout and airtime is able to supersede how unbelievably brutal it is. If it does, you'll enjoy it very much, as the airtime really is great, strong laterals on the turns as well. If it doesn't, then the constant bouncing, the slamming down in the valleys, the very tight trains and the general pain you experience really is not good. For me it's very much teetering on the edge, it's definitely far too rough and would massively benefit from a full rework, this layout with a sensitive GCI rework and new trains would be fantastic. But the redeeming ejectors do at least mean there is some level of fun to be had.

Nice surprise! Fun Rattle Too short

One of the better rides at the park, which doesn't say a lot for what else is there. But Avalanche is fun, picks up some great speed as it descends the track, some nice transitions, nice and comfortable as well, being solo in the car gives you acres of space. It is short though, and had a pretty severe rattle on my latest ride, not painful but very annoying. Still, a good family coaster and unique in the UK

Intensity Smoothness

Very short, very simple ride, but fans of intensity will absolutely love this, the g's on the backwards run are very strong, nice pop of air when you leave each of the raised platform, and one of the smoothest rides going, not a hint of rattle or headbanging. One trick pony and obviously short, but good fun nonetheless

Discomfort Tear it down! Pointless

Some rides are bad because they're boring, or painful, or terribly profiled. Some rides suck but at least have one or two slight redeeming qualities. The Big One is a ride that is all of those terrible things, and has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. All that height and speed completely wasted on a layout which delivers nothing but pain, that first drop ruined by the profiling and sheer roughness of the track. Hills and turns which offer no airtime, no force, nothing but endless bouncing and slamming side to side. Somehow the sections that have been retracked are even worse than the sections that haven't been retracked. The whole thing is a massive, long, painful piece of shit, which admittedly seems apt for BPB. Somehow my recent ride on a non-wheel seat was even worse than my wheel seat first rides a few years back. One ride which I can safely say I will never ride again in it's current form, i'd actually rather be attacked by tigers.

Lap Bar Masterpiece Ejectors

Icon really is an elite ride, which is strange to say when it's at the toilet that is BPB. I'm a massive fan of Mack Rides thrill coasters in general, and this one delivers some fantastic ejector airtime, some whippy transitions, a fantastic hangtime-filled heartline roll and a few moments of good positives. Highlights for me are the top hat after the first launch, the junior Immelmann, the 2 bunny hops before the second launch, and the classic airtime hill in the second half, all deliver some excellent airtime, particularly in the back row. Which is the best spot I think, either the ordinary back row with the slightly larger seats which enhances the airtime, or of course on the absolutely superb Enso car, which really elevated the experience a lot, Shame it's so expensive though. Icon really is awesome, one of the best rides in the country and the only ride at BPB which would make me want to return to ride it!

Location Intensity Layout Theming Discomfort

An excellent pair of duelling family boomerang coasters. The layouts are actually really fun, and for a small ride it pulls some pretty good positives in the sweeping turns, both forwards and particularly backwards. Both sides are pretty much the same in terms of ride experience, and both allow a lovely view out across the park and beyond at the top of the lifts. Theming is fairly minimal around the area, which is a little disappointing, save for the giant minifigure of course, and the billboard is a nice touch as well. But feel like they could've done a little more there. And whilst the ride is extremely smooth, the trains are not all that comfortable, slightly too narrow and the seats are very upright which isn't so good for taller riders. Obviously won't cause an issue for the vast majority of people who go to Legoland though. Overall they're a good fit for the park, add some good coaster capacity, and definitely a good investment for Legoland!

Location Intensity Layout Theming Discomfort

An excellent pair of duelling family boomerang coasters. The layouts are actually really fun, and for a small ride it pulls some pretty good positives in the sweeping turns, both forwards and particularly backwards. Both sides are pretty much the same in terms of ride experience, and both allow a lovely view out across the park and beyond at the top of the lifts. Theming is fairly minimal around the area, which is a little disappointing, save for the giant minifigure of course, and the billboard is a nice touch as well. But feel like they could've done a little more there. And whilst the ride is extremely smooth, the trains are not all that comfortable, slightly too narrow and the seats are very upright which isn't so good for taller riders. Obviously won't cause an issue for the vast majority of people who go to legoland though. Overall they're a good fit for the park, add some good coaster capacity, and definitely a good investment for Legoland!

First Drop Theming Inversions Too short

Like a lot of B&Ms, The Swarm is like a fine wine - only gets better with age. It's still extremely smooth 11 years on, and now more than ever there's some moments of real intensity, in particular the turn past the crashed helicopter into the corkscrew, but also the bottom of the first drop. That drop is fantastic as well, probably the highlight of the ride, really hangs you if you're on the front, whereas on the back you get whipped down nice and fast. I prefer the left side of the train for the spectacular views into London on a clear day. Elsewhere the theming is great, the park have tarted the ride up a bit over winter so it's looking nice and fresh round there. There's some water and fire effects occasionally too although they're hideously unreliable and nearly always don't work. Love the soundtrack as well. As an excellent 2024 update as well, the vest restraints no longer lock in one place, they now let you hang right out which massively enhances the ride experience as well as the comfort, has really made a big difference!

Comfort Too short Capacity

Possibly the smallest coaster in the country. Makes a wacky worm look like a giga. I get it's a kids ride but it really is tiny, at least most other kids rides have a little something to offer the cred hunter, this really has nothing. It is very comfortable though so I'll give it that!

Theming Nice surprise! Smoothness

Dragon is an excellent family coaster. The dark ride section is really nice, plenty to see including the incredible animatronic lego dragon which is just amazing. Then the booster wheels kick up and you go into the fun, albeit short, coaster section outside. It gets some decent speed through the helixes and at the back of the train, there is some family friendly airtime to be had on the 2 drops. The second one into the tunnel is particularly fun. The trains are comfortable enough with decent legroom, and the common lap bar with nicely spaced ratchets means it's almost impossible to get stapled. It fits it's target audience perfectly and is proof that coasters don't need to be big or fast to be great fun.

Masterpiece Intensity Smoothness Harness

The fact this even exists is pretty mind blowing to me, all credit to the designers way back when, and the operators for keeping it going. It runs unbelievably smooth, not just for a portable ride but for any ride, there isn't a hint of a shuffle or rattle on the track. You get a great view from the top of wherever you happen to be riding the coaster in (Hyde Park and London in my case), before an intense drop and 3 of the most intense inversions i've experienced, particularly in the back. I find the pullout of the 3rd loop the most forceful but they all hit. Then there's another excellent drop before the last 2 loops, which aren't quite as intense but still hit nicely. It does meander around a little after that but the turns offer some more nice positives and it stays relentlessly smooth. The back is definitely more intense but I actually really enjoyed the front too, the shoulder pads didn't come down anywhere near as far so it was a lot more comfortable. Speaking of, the pads are the only thing wrong with it really, they are pointless and at the back they really did come down a long way, it wasn't comfortable. But it didn't ruin the ride for me. It really is a terrific coaster and worth every pound of the many, many pounds you spend to ride it

Fun Intensity

I got some crazy spinning on this, probably the most intense spinning i've ever had on a coaster, obviously had the car weighted just right. With the lasers inside it made it a really fun experience. Ran nice and smooth as well. Really shows that even the most standard of rides can stand out with some simple additions and a bit of luck!

Nice surprise! Fun

Classic mouse layout, but I thought this ran great at HPWW. Smooth, very little trimming which is what you want on a mouse, and not too sharp on the brakes at the end either. Shame we didn't get XXL this year but the Wilde Maus was a great replacement

Pointless

Some rides are bad because they're rough, or the trains are uncomfortable, or the layout is poor. This one is bad simply because the track is awful. I've never come across such a poorly profiled attraction. It's not rough, but the way it flops aimlessly around every turn, pointlessly banking in the most terribly unnatural way. I can sort of see why some may think it's quirky, hell even fun, but I certainly don't. It's a shame because the layout has some moments that could be decent, but it just isn't. The trains also have pointless OTSRs so that's always a negative. Reverchon only made one of these, long may it stay that way