Coaster reviews

Inversions Intensity Layout Harness

This was my first SLC, and I was shocked by how much fun I had and how much I didn't hate it. While the restraints are pretty awkward, I didn't get any headbanging off of them at all since my head is actually the perfect size for them; it plugs in nice and snug as if it was made for it. Not having to worry about the headbanging allowed me to appreciate just how intense and fun the layout of these remarkably compact coasters are. While I fully understand why so many loathe these rides due to being abused by the restraints (please upgrade to the new vests please), I just had a really good time. I gave this guy a few re-rides, and I'll eagerly hop on whatever SLC I come across next.

First Drop Rattle Discomfort Tear it down!

Just as obscenely rough and painful as Wild Beast at the other end of the park, but this one is at least a bit fun. This ride (and park for that matter) would be made so much better by a RMC conversion, but Canadian law seems to have put killed any hopes of that, for now at least.

Discomfort Tear it down! Pointless

Probably the worst wooden coaster I've ever ridden. Supremely uncomfortable and janky, combined with a nauseatingly boring layout, this ride manages to deliver no thrills while you endure the 3 minutes of torture this ride provides. Minebuster at the other side of the park is just as rough but at least is a bit more fun to ride; if you absolutely must a ride a woody while at Wonderland, just ride that one.

Rattle Headbanging Discomfort

Lots of enthusiasts are quick to single this model of ride (the Zamperla Volare) out as the worst model of coaster ever made, and holy shit they're not wrong. My expectations were at rock bottom, and I was still blown away at how terrible of a ride this torture device gives. The ride is much rougher than you would expect from just watching it run from the outside, and the only things that you'll probably hear while riding are the clanging and rattling of metal and the screams of pain of you and your fellow passengers. People who complain about these are not exaggerating at all; the ride is pure misery, rivaled only by Green Lantern at Magic Mountain.

Location Comfort Smoothness Intensity

An absolutely gorgeous, butter smooth B&M with an amazing location and some of the best near-miss keyholes in the game. It would be fair to describe this ride as a bit lacking in the force department, but it's still an iconic ride with some neat elements packed into its layout.

Fun Intensity

Cute little ride that's feels more like a juiced up family coaster. Would definitely be great for easing non-enthusiasts onto bigger rides so you can hit Cedar Point's bigger rides with them later.

Launch Intensity Layout

Incredible ride! The entire ride just hauls through its meticulously crafted layout of airtime and inversions at breakneck speed (including the lift-hill); with the only bit of respite being the few seconds to collect yourself in the dark before you're blasted out by the second launch. Easily some of the most fun I've had on a coaster. If you get off of it without a big dumb grin on your face, you're beyond help.

Masterpiece Intensity Ejectors Discomfort

Unforgiving, uncompromising, and unforgettable, Magnum still manages to blow minds more than 30 hears after its opening. The rough Arrow Dynamics-jank we've all come to expect at this point can be argued to be a positive on this ride; while it may make some of the transitions a bit awkward and uncomfortable, it also gives us truly insane ejector airtime that simply never lets up throughout the entire ride. The aggression this ride displays when traversing the elements on this ride is something I wish Millennium Force had a bit more of.

Airtimes Masterpiece Ejectors

I went on this ride expecting a perfect masterpiece, and my expectations were exceeded. The amount of airtime on this ride is beyond comprehension; that, combined with the incredible drop, insane layout, and butter smooth inversions make something that almost feels like a religious experience that'll take a bit for you to fully digest once you hit that final brake run.

Inversions Headbanging Dead spots

By far the roughest B&M I've ever ridden. While the ride starts strong with its great initial inversion, the ride quickly becomes a headbanging machine while not providing much in elements other than some really awkward transitions. To add further insult to injury, the mid-course brake run is awful, and saps the ride of any energy and fun that it had managed to maintain until then.

Location Too short Layout Intensity

While an incredibly significant model in coaster history, the Corkscrew has not aged well. While I didn't get nearly as much of the famed roughness that this ride is known for, there's just not much to this ride in terms of elements and intensity, to the point where watching the trains traverse the signature corkscrew is more enjoyable than actually riding it. This ride may have blown minds back in the 70s, but now it's clinging to relevance with its historical clout alone. If you're not an obsessive credit collector, or a coaster history aficionado, you'd probably be better off spending your time on other rides.

Fun Harness Hangtime

Cute little coaster with some funky elements packed into its compact little layout. Also has one of the fastest lift hills I've ever been on, probably from how light the trains are.

Discomfort Lap Bar

Not good, even as far as Wild Mouse coasters are concerned. The restraints have a totally unnecessary shin/ankle restraint in addition to the lap-bar that is so insanely uncomfortable that it's likely that you're going to hobble off this ride worse than you got on solely due to the restraints. This is a Wild Mouse, not a B&M Flyer; I would not recommend for anyone larger than a 12 year old. A Wild Mouse isn't worth the pain.

One of my fonder childhood coaster memories. Chill enough to get kids who are afraid of coasters on, fun enough (for a family coaster) to entertain while on it.

Theming Nice surprise! Launch

This ride is pretty important to me in that it was the first coaster I ever remember riding. I remember riding it right after it opened and being excited to experience The Mummy movies in real life. However, I was a bit too young (like 6) for it at the time, and ended up getting a little traumatized on it; my fear of coasters would haunt me for about a decade until I started riding again. Now grown, I can now appreciate just how awesome this ride really is. By far the best indoor coaster around; Premier's expertise combined with Universal's effects and theming quality deliver an incredible experience. I can guarantee that you'll never forget the oppressive heat on your face as the room you're in suddenly erupts in flames. I sure haven't.

Theming Fun Too short Disappointing!

While the ride itself is still very fun and thrilling, the overall experience is gravely diminished if you've ridden the version at Universal Orlando beforehand. The version in Orlando is significantly bigger and longer, and during my ride on Hollywood's version I was basically just waiting for my favorite part from Orlando's (the false ending room with the fire) which would never come as that entire section is simply not present on this version. The ride is still fun, and if you haven't gotten to ride Orlando's version I guess you can't really go wrong; but if you've already ridden the superior version, I'd recommend skipping this one unless you're just thirsty for credits or there's no line.

Location Fun Lap Bar

Magic Mountain's first coaster (operating since opening day, May 29, 1971), Gold Rusher offers a scenic ride around Magic Mountain, offering rare looks at a great deal of the rides you know and love. The relatively chill rides still offers some fun from some great near-miss elements from the foliage and ride infrastructure, in addition to some nice lateral Gs. Just two things to keep in mind: the brake run at the end is more sudden than you would think, and can cause you to get punched in the stomach by the lap bar if you're not paying attention. More importantly, one of the near miss elements has you going right under Superman: Escape from Krypton's track; while the element itself is fine, there's a chance that Superman might launch while you're going through. Be ready to cover your ears if you get unlucky enough for that to happen to you, lest you wish to subject your ears to being mere feet from the loudest coaster in the world.

Lap Bar Launch Hangtime Capacity

Starting with a fantastic launch that shoots you up the massive vertical loop, delivering some of the best coaster hangtime ever (courtesy of the lap bars), the coaster then dive-loops into a tunnel where the reverse launch into 2nd forward launch occurs. From there, you then use the massive vertical loop as a top hat and dive into the station. Although quite short, and with the brake-run beginning on the way down from the top hat, the sheer quantity of top-tier thrills packed into such a small space proves Premier's mastery of thrilling, small footprint coasters. The hangtime you experience at the top of that loop is magical, even downright religious if you ride at dusk or night. If I had to criticize something , it would be that lines can be a bit long due to the relatively low capacity compared to Magic Mountain's other big ticket attractions; be ready to wait a bit for your turn.

Pace Fun

A neat GCI woodie that's tucked in the back corner of the park. The ride was probably smoother back when it opened, but I wouldn't call it particularly rough amongst all the other woodies I've ridden. Ride this one at night; it becomes a lot more fun when the indoor sections become near-blackout in the absence of the sun.

Launch Harness Too short Intensity

While the horse themed motorbike restraints are very cool, the ride itself leaves a bit to be desired in terms of intensity and length (like 30 seconds). To a seasoned coaster-fan, the thrills just aren't really there to make this one stick out. However, this is a perfect ride to bring the younger fans who may be ready to graduate from the Wild Mouses, but aren't quite ready for anything too crazy. Very much a "babby's first launch coaster" kind of ride.

Inversions Location Smoothness

Really nice B&M Invert that's right at the front of the park. Having the first thing you see when you walk in being people skimming and flipping above the water really sets the tone well, and shows just how far Knott's has come from its humble origins. While it's a bit longer than Batman: The Ride, I found it to be a bit more mellow. This may disappoint some who're looking for something to blow Batman out of the water, but this ride is definitely no slouch. Whether you're looking to jump straight into the thrills Knott's has to offer, or catch one last ride that's on the way to the exit, Silver Bullet is definitely one of your best options.

Inversions Fun Intensity Headbanging

Yea, this ride can beat the shit out of you if you're not braced for it; but the sheer intensity and adrenaline pumping experience this ride provides cannot be overstated. Add the fact that there's almost never a line for this thing because of its reputation and somewhat secluded location, and you have the potential for some truly crazy ride counts even when the other rides may be swamped. Respect the ride, and it shall provide.

Fun Ejectors Duration

Very fun, historic coaster right on the beach at Belmont Park. Don't let its age fool you, this almost 100 year old coaster has plenty of thrills to give; if you're a fan of ejectors or just classic wooden coasters in general, then I would highly recommend you give this thing a ride or two. Each ride is a about $7, and the ride is very well maintained by a group of people who clearly care about it. It may not be one of those steel launching coasters just down the road at SeaWorld (Electric Eel is very much visible from the lift-hill), but you definitely don't want to miss out on this wooden classic.

Theming Inversions Intensity Rattle

Probably the most cloned coaster in Six Flags history, Batman: The Ride still has a lot to offer to its riders despite its age. This B&M Invert's heartline and corkscrews are still as fun as it was when it opened back in 1994. There's a reason these coasters were put in basically wherever Six Flags could manage to put one. One little word of caution, the anti-rollback mechanism on the lift-hill is INSANELY loud; you might want to cover your ears a little if you like your ability to hear.

Inversions Fun Intensity

Really neat floorless coaster tucked at the very back of the park, right next to Twisted Colossus. As much as people shit on this ride for its location and (lack of) theming, people forget that this ride is literally Bizarro from Great Adventure but mirrored (a bizarro Bizarro). As a result of the undeserved reputation it's earned, it joins Viper in the "never a wait ever because no one wants to ride it" club, unless there's something wrong with the ride or something. Please don't be a theming snob, it's not worth missing out on this coaster over.

Lap Bar Inversions Location Intensity

Historical significance aside, the ride has aged pretty well. While it might not be as intense as most of the other rides at Magic Mountain, nor does it succeed in hiding its age, this piece of coaster history is well worth a ride. Not only is it smoother than one would expect of a coaster of its age, the build-up to the truly revolutionary loop is very well crafted, and the lap bars give you that wonderful floaty freedom at the apex of the loop. If nothing else, just give it a ride to see just how far we've come since 1976.

Location Comfort

Above average suspended coaster that provides a smooth, mellow ride along with great views of various attractions at the park. Good cool-down or warm-up coaster (especially if you're getting ready to ride the looming Tatsu).

Lap Bar Intensity Dead spots

The ride is pretty fun, but the awful mid-course brake run almost ruins it. If it wasn't for the awesome downward helix and the wonderful G-force it provides, the ride would definitely be a lot more forgettable.

Theming Launch

Really chill and fun launch coaster

First Drop Theming Dead spots

As of June 6th, 2019, there's literally no theming at all on this ride. I would have figured that the recent renovations (a new paint-job and new, hideous, florescent green ride vehicles) would have allowed them to repair some of the audio/visual effects, but it appears they've either not gotten to that stage yet, or just don't care. As it is right now, the ride operates in total silence with no effects, as it soullessly drops you twice with like five minutes of dead time in between.